I am a nursing student, and I am currently suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts. I am nearly at the end of my 3rd year clinical rotations(8 weeks) but I had a mental breakdown during my 7th week at a psychiatric ward...so I had to take a day off. My professor advised me to NOT share my personal feelings about suicide/self harm/death/etc. So I had to ask my mates to tell the inpatients that I had a bad case of fever if they asked anything.
So I am confronting my last week of clinical rotations in the psychiatric ward...but the problem is, since I missed a day in my 7th week, if I miss one more day then I would have to repeat my whole year. Absurd. I must NOT have any mental breakdown, never attempt suicide, never self harm, never cry in front of other people during next week. Even though I am in a psychiatric ward, showing any sign of depression would not be accepted because I am a student nurse, not a patient. So sad.
Any advice on staying strong when the environment is depressing? I really have to keep myself from being triggered...
RealLife,
First, welcome to the forum, it sounds to me as if you definitely found the right place for you at the exact right time. The above members have given excellent suggestions, and I don't think I could add to that.
The ONE thing I can comment on is that in my life I have attended years of schools where if I messed up with non-attendance, even when absolutely no fault of my own, as is your case, I also faced the real possibility of losing my place in the class. I would have to start over with a new application process to get re-admitted, and that would mean another year or more with the associated expenses, lack of income, and the possibility of not even being accepted the second time.
In one class, I had to decide, within a week, whether to power through or drop the class and try to pick it up the next year.
I decided to get through that next week not knowing if I was capable. But I was able to do that and avoided the unimaginable requirement of starting over. Now, I want to be clear, my circumstances were mundane and not near what you are going through, all I would have lost was another year of my life, you face much more difficult issues, along with the massive anxiety you feel now.
All I can say to you is on this side of the decisions you make, a day feels like a month and a week feels like a year. Using suggestions here, and/or using your own instincts, your obvious willingness and ability to sacrifice for your ultimate wonderful goal of obtaining your degree, you have to ignore the fear of getting through a week, and use the strength and perseverance you clearly possess, to set your sights on your end goal.
I am grateful to and impressed with your professors' advice to not talk about this with anyone. This is critical at this point.
Just another week, you had already resolved to not show or talk about depression and its signs, and as unfair as it is, you are practiced at concealing this. Just another week!
I am also excited that if you can get through this that the medical profession will gain a practitioner who has real life, experience and insight into the conditions that plague so many. I fully expect you will become an excellent professional who will look back at this week, and be able to apply this hard-earned wisdom and use that and your skills to help others who suffer.
From a very real place of empathy, I will keep you in my heart and mind and well wishes, and my virtual fingers crossed for you. I hope you can report to us how it works for you.
I am a nursing student, and I am currently suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts. I am nearly at the end of my 3rd year clinical rotations(8 weeks) but I had a mental breakdown during my 7th week at a psychiatric ward...so I had to take a day off. My professor advised me to NOT share my personal feelings about suicide/self harm/death/etc. So I had to ask my mates to tell the inpatients that I had a bad case of fever if they asked anything.
So I am confronting my last week of clinical rotations in the psychiatric ward...but the problem is, since I missed a day in my 7th week, if I miss one more day then I would have to repeat my whole year. Absurd. I must NOT have any mental breakdown, never attempt suicide, never self harm, never cry in front of other people during next week. Even though I am in a psychiatric ward, showing any sign of depression would not be accepted because I am a student nurse, not a patient. So sad.
Any advice on staying strong when the environment is depressing? I really have to keep myself from being triggered...
First, welcome to the forum, it sounds to me as if you definitely found the right place for you at the exact right time. The SS members have given excellent suggestions, and I don't think I could add to that.
The ONE thing I can comment on is that in my life I have attended years of schools where if I messed up with non-attendance, even when absolutely no fault of my own, as is your case, I also faced the real possibility of losing my place in the class. I would have to start over with a new application process to get re-admitted, and that would mean another year or more with the associated expenses, lack of income, and the possibility of not even being accepted the second time.
In one class, I had to decide, within a week, whether to power through or drop the class and try to pick it up the next year.
I decided to get through that next week not knowing if I was capable. But I was able to do that and avoided the unimaginable requirement of starting over. Now, I want to be clear, my circumstances were mundane and not near what you are going through, all I would have lost was another year of my life, you face much more difficult issues, along with the massive anxiety you feel now.
All I can say to you is on this side of the decisions you make, a day feels like a month and a week feels like a year. Using suggestions here, and/or using your own instincts, your obvious willingness and ability to sacrifice for your ultimate wonderful goal of obtaining your degree, you have to ignore the fear of getting through a week, and use the strength and perseverance you clearly possess, to set your sights on your end goal.
I am grateful to and impressed with your professors' advice to not talk about this with anyone. This is critical at this point.
Just another week, you had already resolved to not show or talk about depression and its signs, and as unfair as it is, you are practiced at concealing this. Just another week!
I am also excited that if you can get through this that the medical profession will gain a practitioner who has real-life, experience and insight into the conditions that plague so many. I fully expect you will become an excellent professional who will look back at this week, and be able to apply this hard-earned wisdom and use that and your skills to help others who suffer.
From a very real place of empathy, I will keep you in my heart and mind and well wishes, and my virtual fingers crossed for you. I hope you can report to us how it works for you.
** I AM HAVING A PROBLEM POSTING, I HOPE I DID TO POST MORE THAN ONCE, I APOLIGIZE IF SO**
