Adieu

[RitaM]

I plan to ctb tonight, to give it my everything. I have taken some diazepam and have the rope ready to go. I'm drinking my favourite Viognier. I live alone but I'll wait until people in my block have gone to bed in case my body thrashing around alerts anyone. I feel calm in my decision. I believe it is the right thing to do. I have left my will and a suicide note. I have tried to be kind, and have left my most valuable possessions to my dearest friends. Everything is ready for them.

I wasn't loved as a child. I never attached to my mother who was unable to look after me and my father died when I was 22. My life has been mostly suffering. I have felt alone my entire life. I have tried hard to make it work, to be happy, but I can't do it anymore. My heart is broken. It's there, behind my ribs, but the beat has gone. I see no reason to go on. I want to go to sleep.

Thank you to everyone here who has been so kind. Raising a glass to you. See you on the other side. Rita x

 

[Vunro]

I'll see you on the other side. Rest easy sister

 

[woxihuanni]

Dear Rita, I hope you find peace. I hope I have such kindness and courage when my time comes soon.

 

[Elias]

Adieu Rita, may you find peace away from this uncaring world. See you on the other side.

 

[Stan]

Hope you have a peaceful passing

 

[Mud.]

All the best to you.
I hope you find the peace you're searching for.

 

[Return2Dust]

I plan to ctb tonight, to give it my everything. I have taken some diazepam and have the rope ready to go. I'm drinking my favourite Viognier. I live alone but I'll wait until people in my block have gone to bed in case my body thrashing around alerts anyone. I feel calm in my decision. I believe it is the right thing to do. I have left my will and a suicide note. I have tried to be kind, and left my most valuable possessions to my dearest friends. Everything is ready for them.

I wasn't loved as a child. I never attached to my mother who was unable to look after me and my father died when I was 22. My life has been mostly suffering. I have felt alone my entire life. I have tried hard to make it work, to be happy, but I can't do it anymore. My heart is broken. It's there, behind my ribs, but the beat has gone. I see no reason to go on. I want to go to sleep.

Thank you to everyone here who has been so kind. Raising a glass to you. See you on the other side. Rita x

My heart hurts for you because I know exactly what it's like to not have an attachment to a mother and to live a life of suffering. I wish you joy and peace, my friend.

 

[RitaM]

My heart hurts for you because I know exactly what it's like to not have an attachment to a mother and to live a life of suffering. I wish you joy and peace, my friend.

Thank you, and I'm sorry you know what that's like. Could you expand a bit, maybe in PM if you'd be comfortable?

 

[Dreamwithinadream]

I'm sorry you've suffered so much. I hope you find peace.

 

[Blackjack]

You're a beauty. I wish you peace. Love & light...

 

[Qverty7455]

Good luck Rita I am sorry it has to come to this :( I hope you will find peace and happiness.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Such a pretty face! but I know that doesnt really help in the grand scheme of things, esp when you have not had that parental love-it can effect yr whole sense of self-and self worth-and in turn life and personal relationships- its my reason to want to go too-Viognier is a nice wine. Wish you peace.

 

[Blackjack]

Sweet girl, I just read your previous posts about your other failed hanging attempts. Are you doing something different this time?

 

[RitaM]

Sweet girl, I just read your previous posts about your other failed hanging attempts. Are you doing something different this time?

I'm going to pad more, and not give up until it's done or I physically can't. I haven't tried standing up and leaning forward before, not with a rope anyway - only a belt. I just can't do this anymore. I will do everything it takes and I hope I won't fail.

 

[LonelyLight]

I pray you find peace happiness and freedom in abundence when you go to the next place. I too feel the pain of a bad relationship with your mother. Mine is a chronic alcoholic so enough said about that. Hugs to you x

 

[Blackjack]

I'm going to pad more, and not give up until it's done or I physically can't. I haven't tried standing up and leaning forward before, not with a rope anyway - only a belt. I just can't do this anymore. I will do everything it takes and I hope I won't fail.

What about SN?

 

[RitaM]

I can't wait for that. I'm in too much pain. But if I fail it is an option.

 

[Maravillosa]

May God be gentle to you, Rita.

 

[Blackjack]

I can't wait for that. I'm in too much pain. But if I fail it is an option.

I never do this but I feel I must. Please don't do this. I have a friend here from the UK who can provide sourcing info on SN there. Yes you'll have to wait. But your previous failed hanging attempts should not be ignored or discarded because you're in pain. Please reconsider.

 

[Jean4]

If you do choose to go, may it be quick and peaceful. Sending love and light. Please look after us. Be at peace.

 

[CyanideSoup]

I'm sorry you are leaving, but I wish you all the best on the other side. I hope whatever comes next is better.

 

[NextBusLeaving]

I plan to ctb tonight, to give it my everything. I have taken some diazepam and have the rope ready to go. I'm drinking my favourite Viognier. I live alone but I'll wait until people in my block have gone to bed in case my body thrashing around alerts anyone. I feel calm in my decision. I believe it is the right thing to do. I have left my will and a suicide note. I have tried to be kind, and have left my most valuable possessions to my dearest friends. Everything is ready for them.

I wasn't loved as a child. I never attached to my mother who was unable to look after me and my father died when I was 22. My life has been mostly suffering. I have felt alone my entire life. I have tried hard to make it work, to be happy, but I can't do it anymore. My heart is broken. It's there, behind my ribs, but the beat has gone. I see no reason to go on. I want to go to sleep.

Thank you to everyone here who has been so kind. Raising a glass to you. See you on the other side. Rita x

I do hope you"ll reconsider my friend, but I understand pain so I get it. Please be safe. God bless you.

 

[sleepy dog]

I feel horrible that you feel you weren't loved as a child. I feel the same looking back, my family is mostly cruel and always has been. So if you do attempt tonight, I wish you success. But I hope you have plans for the possibility of failure.

 

[134340]

Just from this post, I can tell you are (maybe were, at this point) a lovely person. I'm so sorry you weren't loved. I hope to see you on the other side, and I'm wishing you all the peace in the universe.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I feel horrible that you feel you weren't loved as a child. I feel the same looking back, my family is mostly cruel and always has been. So if you do attempt tonight, I wish you success. But I hope you have plans for the possibility of failure.

It had never ceased to amaze me why some people have children - what is the point if u have them- then reject them- turn on them and don't want to care for them- love them - and see them thrive- so weird

 

[color_me_gone]

It had never ceased to amaze me why some people have children - what is the point if u have them- then reject them- turn on them and don't want to care for them- love them - and see them thrive- so weird

Baffles me as well, even though I didn't have that problem.

 

[Blackjack]

It had never ceased to amaze me why some people have children - what is the point if u have them- then reject them- turn on them and don't want to care for them- love them - and see them thrive- so weird

It's not that baffling when you consider that most people who do this to innocent children are likely mentally ill.

 

[MeltingHeart]

It's not that baffling when you consider that most people who do this to innocent children are likely mentally ill.

yes I agree!-and the tragic/ bitter irony is now they consider or deem me to have a 'mental illness'-rather than accept or take responsibilty for how I have ended up.

 

[Blackjack]

yes I agree!-and the tragic/ bitter irony is now they consider or deem me to have a 'mental illness'-rather than accept or take responsibilty for how I have ended up.

Yes that's unfortunate. I too had a mentally ill Mom, so I empathize a lot.

 

[RitaM]

You're all so sweet and kind. I'm giving it one hour from now and then I'm going to attempt.