Accountability Thread

[cii]

This isn't really about mental health recovery, I don't think that's really possible, but more like... My life is a mess. I couldn't find a really important document because I haven't cleaned my room in months. There's dust everywhere. It looks like there was a call to evacuate and someone just trashed the whole place looking for something of value and just gave up and left. I don't have the energy to clean it, I can barely get myself out of bed, but I really need to.

So, I wanted to post here to motivate myself to get it done. Will update when I finish one of the tasks. If you feel similar to me or you're struggling with something you need to do- even if it is something small like showering or something big like a DBT worksheet- then post here too! Maybe it will help you as well. I will check on you to see if you have done it. It won't really fix us, but at least we will have less responsibilities by the end of it.

The first thing I will do is find the document. Then clean my makeup area and wash the brushes, then clean up my medicine cabinet. Will report back when done!

 

[these_days9]

I believe in you!

 

[whywere]

1st) WELCOME to Sanctioned Suicide!!! It is great to be able to call you a family member here! I hope that you find, like I have, that EVERYONE here is loving,caring with a endless supply of empathy and support to help you! 2nd) You are such a thoughtful and caring person inso far as like the DBT aspect. You are WONDERFUL! Like @these_days9 said, : I believe in you", the same goes from me to you also. Again, WELCOME and my hope for you is that you find the love,caring and support to help you along the way.

 

[Weather]

What a great idea! You got this!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I moved to this house last year. It hadn't been cleaned in what must have been twenty years. I spent the winter wallowing in filth as I felt my life ebbing away. The spring brought renewal and I cleaned like it was an obsession. Which it was.
I was weak, however, so I could only do an hour or two each day, then rest. It took months, but finally the house was clean and more importantly, mine.
I think there is value in sorting out your immediate environment as best you can. There is no need to push yourself or worry about how much there is to do, just do a little each day and forget about the rest. Eventually it will be sorted. Whilst this won't solve your problems, it is one more positive thing to add to the pile.

 

[Weather]

Hi Cii. Have you made any progress on finding your document? I thought checking in might help with accountability! :)

 

[riglad]

I believe in you! you can do it!

 

[cii]

Hey guys! Thank you for your kind words, they helped me a lot I'm really sorry for the late response, getting back to people makes me really anxious, it's something I need to work on as well.

@Weather I really appreciate that you checked up on me! I was struggling to finish my tasks, but when I saw your comment it gave me the push I needed to finish the job :) I found the document (thank god) and cleaned the cabinet, all that's left is to clean up the makeup which I will do after writing this. Thank you for checking up on me! <3

@whywere That was such a warm welcome, thank you! It is great to call you a family member too!! It took me 2 years to take the plunge and make an account here, and I am so glad I did, everyone is truly kind and amazing here ^^ Thank you again, you are very kind! <3

@Underscore You know, even though I made the thread I had a really hard time getting started. But your story gave me the strength I needed- if you can clean up a whole entire house, I can clean up my little room :D Like you I also had to do it in short bursts, but thanks to you I didn't feel too bad about it. Thank you for sharing your story with me! <3

And once again, thank you everyone, living in this room is a little more bearable now. ;u;

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Hey guys! Thank you for your kind words, they helped me a lot I'm really sorry for the late response, getting back to people makes me really anxious, it's something I need to work on as well.

@Weather I really appreciate that you checked up on me! I was struggling to finish my tasks, but when I saw your comment it gave me the push I needed to finish the job :) I found the document (thank god) and cleaned the cabinet, all that's left is to clean up the makeup which I will do after writing this. Thank you for checking up on me! <3

@whywere That was such a warm welcome, thank you! It is great to call you a family member too!! It took me 2 years to take the plunge and make an account here, and I am so glad I did, everyone is truly kind and amazing here ^^ Thank you again, you are very kind! <3

@Underscore You know, even though I made the thread I had a really hard time getting started. But your story gave me the strength I needed- if you can clean up a whole entire house, I can clean up my little room :D Like you I also had to do it in short bursts, but thanks to you I didn't feel too bad about it. Thank you for sharing your story with me! <3

And once again, thank you everyone, living in this room is a little more bearable now. ;u;

Well done @cii.
What's next?

 

[cii]

@Underscore I finished all the tasks I mentioned before!, including the makeup! Thank you so much! I have a lot of assignments due- like a lot a lot lol- I will get to them, and then all I have to do is finish my clothes drawer. And then my room is clean!
I'm so glad I made this thread, thank you for checking up on me! I'll comment again once I can go back to cleaning, it's so nice to have a space where I can talk about this stuff, no one really gets how difficult it is to do things like this...

 

[Deleted member 1465]

@Underscore I finished all the tasks I mentioned before!, including the makeup! Thank you so much! I have a lot of assignments due- like a lot a lot lol- I will get to them, and then all I have to do is finish my clothes drawer. And then my room is clean!
I'm so glad I made this thread, thank you for checking up on me! I'll comment again once I can go back to cleaning, it's so nice to have a space where I can talk about this stuff, no one really gets how difficult it is to do things like this...

I think I do. Last year I barely functioned. Every small step forward has been a foundation on which I can stand to try and take bigger steps. I exist in a dynamic equilibrium between pushing myself slightly beyond my limits in order to improve, whilst not pushing myself so far as to cause harm, failure and self recrimination. It's a very delicate place to be in and has taught me the value of listening to myself, even if I often fail to to so, I also know how to forgive myself for my failings. I hope.
I'd suggest that if you continue applying the same principle you have used to start completing those tasks, you may find your boundaries and orbit of control increases. Just remember to be kind to yourself too.

 

[Viro_Major]

Encouragements sent ! When I was taking swimming courses as a kid, the instructor used to give us candies at the end of the session. Needless to say, it was highly motivating to never miss a training

Here's a treat for you ...for when you complete the task

Spoiler

You'll be granted e-Haribo...

 

[Weather]

Good work, Cii! You should feel accomplished!

How are the assignments coming? You got this!

 

[sufferingalways]

I moved to this house last year. It hadn't been cleaned in what must have been twenty years. I spent the winter wallowing in filth as I felt my life ebbing away. The spring brought renewal and I cleaned like it was an obsession. Which it was.
I was weak, however, so I could only do an hour or two each day, then rest. It took months, but finally the house was clean and more importantly, mine.
I think there is value in sorting out your immediate environment as best you can. There is no need to push yourself or worry about how much there is to do, just do a little each day and forget about the rest. Eventually it will be sorted. Whilst this won't solve your problems, it is one more positive thing to add to the pile.

Hi @Underscore, your story has echoes of my situation too, I shave washing piled up high in the bath (in bags and a pop up laundry drum) and the take it as you can philosophy is what I need to keep in mind. Not easy when there's about 4 months worth in there.

Hi @Underscore, your story has echoes of my situation too, I have washing piled up high in the bath (in bags and a pop up laundry drum) and the take it as you can philosophy is what I need to keep in mind. Not easy when there's about 4 months worth in there.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Hi @Underscore, your story has echoes of my situation too, I shave washing piled up high in the bath (in bags and a pop up laundry drum) and the take it as you can philosophy is what I need to keep in mind. Not easy when there's about 4 months worth in there.

It can be tough to get going, I've found that once I started and got rid of the backlog, It became therapeutic for me to keep stuff clean. An ordered environment means a more ordered mind for me.

 

[sufferingalways]

It can be tough to get going, I've found that once I started and got rid of the backlog, It became therapeutic for me to keep stuff clean.
An ordered environment means a more ordered mind for me.

Likewise for me.
When I was looking for a house exchange back in London I needed to declutter one room and I hired someone to help me get started. Good rate and very helpful. The mindset I learned from her plus my timer used for short spurts helped me get there and see floor again! Has also has helped me over and over since. I need a tidy room.

@Underscore I finished all the tasks I mentioned before!, including the makeup! Thank you so much! I have a lot of assignments due- like a lot a lot lol- I will get to them, and then all I have to do is finish my clothes drawer. And then my room is clean!
I'm so glad I made this thread, thank you for checking up on me! I'll comment again once I can go back to cleaning, it's so nice to have a space where I can talk about this stuff, no one really gets how difficult it is to do things like this...

Hi do you keep makeup longer than 6 months?

 

[cii]

Hi do you keep makeup longer than 6 months?

Hi there! Short answer, yes lol. Long answer, it's too expensive for me to buy new makeup after the expiry date passes, I only buy more if something runs out. So my every day makeup tends to last max 8 months and the rest I've had for like 3-5 years. I even have some lipsticks that are 10+ years old buuuut I only keep them for the swatches though! I do throw away makeup if my skin burns after putting it on. By cleaning makeup I just meant getting dirt off of them, I left my makeup drawer open for months and there was a lot of dust on them >_< Any reason you asked?

Encouragements sent ! When I was taking swimming courses as a kid, the instructor used to give us candies at the end of the session. Needless to say, it was highly motivating to never miss a training

Here's a treat for you ...for when you complete the task

Spoiler

You'll be granted e-Haribo...

View attachment 49346

Thank you for the treat! It really was very motivating, I tried my best not to peek until I was done! Thank you ^^

Good work, Cii! You should feel accomplished!

How are the assignments coming? You got this!

They went... 7/10? But I did what I could! I'm okay with not doing well, it's a socially acceptable excuse to ctb if I fail college xD Thank you for checking up on me, it did motivate me!
Okay, last tasks, after this I should have my chickens in order.

I need to not get fired from my job and finish the tasks my boss assigned me today, and the last part of my room I need to clean is my clothes. It is very daunting because they are a mess, scattered everywhere. I will also try to do a hobby because I've been feeling really anxious lately and doing that will calm me down a bit hopefully. Will try to finish everything by next week!
Still really glad I made this thread. Everyone's stories and advice have been very motivating, and cleaning up this small part of my life has helped me mentally quite a bit. Thank you guys for helping me and allowing me to have this space.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Still really glad I made this thread. Everyone's stories and advice have been very motivating, and cleaning up this small part of my life has helped me mentally quite a bit. Thank you guys for helping me and allowing me to have this space.

Glad you made it too. I think you are doing really well. I've been so far down I didn't eat, shower, brush teeth, change the bed clothes etc. People don't get that sometimes it take real grit to do the things others often take for granted. Having said that I think people on here do tend to understand more. You just keep going. It's all ground to stand on and there is nothing more valuable than having that foundation. No-one can do that for you, you have to choose to do it for yourself, otherwise it's worthless. That choice demands respect.