Venting Abusive dad

[Imgonnadie]

Piece of shit slapped me around yesterday for """""disrespecting""""" him which translates into disagreeing with him. Threatened to beat me worse if I keep on disrespecting him, lectured me for a while with the threat of more beating if I argued. He loses his temper (although he says if he actually lost it it'd be worse) when I disagree with him and threatens to break my jaw, tells me how I can't argue because I'm younger etc. He was beat very badly by his dad every day so in his mind this is normal. Couldn't sleep last night, was imagining bludgeoning his head in with a hammer. I think I'll just listen to whatever he says until the semester ends in a month and a week. He won't hit me that way. But I can't wait to leave and tell him he's dead to me and block him on everything. Might leave earlier though, my rage is strong.

 

[Pupuce]

Could you get any evidence of him beating you up? Like a video, a picture, a witness maybe. Getting back at him for what he did seems like a good idea.

 

[Wintergirl666]

Feel you, my dad abused me as well. When he was done with beating me up, he told me I wasn't allowed to cry, since he was annoyed by that. He even threatened me to beat me harder if I cried. He used to lock me in the bathroom as well and let me stay inside of it the whole night. Eventually I was taken out of the family and send into a group home because I called the cops after he slapped me again.
Try to talk to a doctor, so he can report your injuries and after that call the cops.

 

[Final Escape]

Yea society protects the abusers. If u are at least 16 I would really try to get the hell out of there any way u can. If u cannot I would try to avoid triggering him into a rage if possible. Once you get away from him it will get better but always be aware if u grew up with an abusive parent u have to be very careful not to befriend other abusive types male or female because that was your normal. One thing u can do is use the grey rock technique with abusers. Basically you act like a robot and u don't allow them to feed of your emotional reaction. Abusers love to try to get reactions out of u and to feed off your suffering. If you can learn to not allow him to get any reactions out of u it might help u get your power back.

 

[Alchemist]

How old are you?

 

[Im2high4this]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know what it's like. My mom would make my dad hit me when I was growing up. Thankfullly I got big enough and enough fighting experience in high school to actually fight back and fuck him up. I only got yelled after after I lumped him up that one night.

This might be something you want to take to the police if you are comfortable doing that. They can help you with parental abuse. This sounds very serious and I'm worried for you. I would seek local help, somebody who can physically help you. Doctor, police, call somebody, please. I'm sure you have enough on your plate without the threat of physical violence from a family member.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Have you ever called the cops on him?

 

[noaccount]

I am so sorry. A doctor or someone from a domestic violence service might be helpful in advocating for you to the police/courts if you go that route?

 

[purplemoon]

No, Please Please Please don't accept this abuse without calling in the cavalry (teachers or police would be the most powerful allies for you).

I know that's easier said than done, I grew up with that evil abuse crap from my father, and it didn't stop when I turned into an adult either... It's screwed up my nervous system, my brain and my anxious reflexes, it's screwed me up in so many ways for so many years. at first I kept forgiving him because he was my biological father, until I could no longer survive anymore damage and I disowned him, twice now.

I don't know how old you are, but if you have access to public school district teachers, please consider choosing one you like and trust.

domestic violence shelters don't require proof and usually let you stay for 90 days.

And if you are under 18 they will offer more support hopefully, there are also required to report it to child protective services and if school district gets involved typically they would pull you out of your home immediately. Teachers are powerful witnesses and allies to have in court if you need it, and if I could do it all over again that's how I would start out.

If you are over 18, and you can prove Bruises etc., please take pictures of it and email a copy to yourself, assuming you don't lose your phone. That way you'll always have a copy. You can also go to the police and file a report, but I know that can trigger terrifying revenge from the abuser.

Obviously it would be uncomfortable to not know where you're going to end up staying, that's up to you. I just wish I could protect you and all the other kids and adults In this world that are being physically dominated and abused by selfish psychopath that does everything for their own convenience and comfort at the expense of others' suffering. Makes me sick.
It's very difficult to reason with these types, they're very irrational and egocentric. They're out of their minds, yet when you react to them, they gaslight you. please don't believe anything he says and don't value his opinion of you at all whatsoever.

If it's possible, try to find an alternative safe place to live, regardless of what your ctb plans might be...

I would also consider secretly videotaping or recording episodes from your abusive father to get evidence. Different states vary as far as whether recording a conversation is legal or not, if you want me to look it up for you I can do that easily within a couple minutes. You can also look in the App Store on your phone and download free recording apps easily. If it's not video and recording audio conversation only, make sure you say something like "Stop hitting me!" or "don't hit me Dad"... and if he responds on there with something like 'well that's what you get' or 'don't make me mad' etc that helps provide proof.

I say record it, get proof, and please try to find an ally that will protect you.

It took me years to finally fully understand and accept that my father is a monster whose occasional tears were only for himself when he lost me, they were never tears for me or my suffering.

These types of people rarely are capable of change, no matter what they say.

Ctb or not... You deserve a peaceful environment, not chaos and terror.

Please, please make a plan...
I know what it's like to suffer at home like that, I know what the damage does.

That's not a father, and you deserve to be treated with decency & dignity.

 

[drake4871]

I hope you're doing okay OP, I've been in your shoes and I really hope you feel better soon. I'm sorry that the one person who's supposed to try and shape you into the best version of yourself decided to beat a different shape into you. I would recommend talking to your school counselor if that's an option, it may not haunt you now but it could in the future