Venting About to be homeless so so scared right now

[ArchmagePrincess]

Due to life being complicated I've delayed time and time again CTBing. Now I'm at the end of my rope financially, and completely out of friends willing or able to help. I have a small amount of savings I can get a hotel room and a N2 tank with, craft another exit bag. But if I fail I'm even more screwed and it's very scary. My mental health is at the point where I'm actively getting fired from jobs because they find me having a panic attack or psychotic meltdown everyday annoying. I can't hold a job anymore I'm running low on time and even lower on money.

The more research I do into being homeless, especially related to being a homeless trans woman for that matter, makes me want to CTB more in fear of suffering even more than I already have.

I'm so scared and beyond stressed and I really should've just CTB'd when things were calmer and I had more time but what's done is done. I think I have to make the attempt no matter what soon. If I wait any longer I could lose the money I've saved and lose the opportunity to buy N2, and what little sanity I have left when I'm out on the streets. Wish me luck, I have to act now.

 

[Kurushii]

That's such an awful situation I'm really sorry you found yourself stuck in it. I did research into being homeless too before, but I've forgotten most of what I've learned. Please try to come up with a back up plan if you do try to ctb and it doesn't work. I'm sorry you were fired from jobs, that's a big fear I have if I ever work anywhere. Take care of yourself Princess. I'm wishing you the best of luck

 

[Tarucest]

Due to life being complicated I've delayed time and time again CTBing. Now I'm at the end of my rope financially, and completely out of friends willing or able to help. I have a small amount of savings I can get a hotel room and a N2 tank with, craft another exit bag. But if I fail I'm even more screwed and it's very scary. My mental health is at the point where I'm actively getting fired from jobs because they find me having a panic attack or psychotic meltdown everyday annoying. I can't hold a job anymore I'm running low on time and even lower on money.

The more research I do into being homeless, especially related to being a homeless trans woman for that matter, makes me want to CTB more in fear of suffering even more than I already have.

I'm so scared and beyond stressed and I really should've just CTB'd when things were calmer and I had more time but what's done is done. I think I have to make the attempt no matter what soon. If I wait any longer I could lose the money I've saved and lose the opportunity to buy N2, and what little sanity I have left when I'm out on the streets. Wish me luck, I have to act now.

I wish you the best As a trans person myself i understand your fear, Do you have any places i could help by paying you? (cashapp, paypal?) I can give as much as i have left...I don't want you to be forced to CTB just because you have no place to stay..

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

That's such an awful situation I'm really sorry you found yourself stuck in it. I did research into being homeless too before, but I've forgotten most of what I've learned. Please try to come up with a back up plan if you do try to ctb and it doesn't work. I'm sorry you were fired from jobs, that's a big fear I have if I ever work anywhere. Take care of yourself Princess. I'm wishing you the best of luck

Gosh being called princess again made me cry. It's been so long since someone called me that and cared about how I was doing.

 

[ilikecats]

Due to life being complicated I've delayed time and time again CTBing. Now I'm at the end of my rope financially, and completely out of friends willing or able to help. I have a small amount of savings I can get a hotel room and a N2 tank with, craft another exit bag. But if I fail I'm even more screwed and it's very scary. My mental health is at the point where I'm actively getting fired from jobs because they find me having a panic attack or psychotic meltdown everyday annoying. I can't hold a job anymore I'm running low on time and even lower on money.

The more research I do into being homeless, especially related to being a homeless trans woman for that matter, makes me want to CTB more in fear of suffering even more than I already have.

I'm so scared and beyond stressed and I really should've just CTB'd when things were calmer and I had more time but what's done is done. I think I have to make the attempt no matter what soon. If I wait any longer I could lose the money I've saved and lose the opportunity to buy N2, and what little sanity I have left when I'm out on the streets. Wish me luck, I have to act now.

And what about a mental hospital they would give you the help you need and the food and when you're out you will maybe find a job . I don't really know how it works in your country but maybe you can make some research on it ? I really hope things will get better for you please don't lose hope!

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

And what about a mental hospital they would give you the help you need and the food and when you're out you will maybe find a job . I don't really know how it works in your country but maybe you can make some research on it ? I really hope things will get better for you please don't lose hope!

I've stayed at a mental hospital before and while I'm considering it just to have a place to stay for a while, they're awful places to be in the US. I don't want to be forcibly drugged again and experience all the side effects. The nurses where I stayed didn't really care who threatened me or sexually assaulted me. It's a bed and some food but it's painful too. And as petty as this might sound I'm scared of needles and really don't want to deal with my blood being drawn again, definitely not in my current mental state.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrific what you have to go through, it certainly is such a cruel world we exist in and it's just so incredibly unfair how you have to suffer like this. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[MidnightCat]

I'm sorry I can't really help a lot.

I'm not sure about how things work in the US but I remember reading someone talk about some kind of pay/wage for disabled people. That includes depressed individuals.

Again, I'm not sure how it works and might not be really useful... I'm just worried, noone should CTB sooner than they want because of money..

How Much Does Mental Health Disability Pay?

If you have a mental health disorder that prevents you from maintaining work, you may qualify for disability pay. Learn more about mental health disability programs.

www.verywellmind.com

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

I'm sorry I can't really help a lot.

I'm not sure about how things work in the US but I remember reading someone talk about some kind of pay/wage for disabled people. That includes depressed individuals.

Again, I'm not sure how it works and might not be really useful... I'm just worried, noone should CTB sooner than they want because of money..

How Much Does Mental Health Disability Pay?

If you have a mental health disorder that prevents you from maintaining work, you may qualify for disability pay. Learn more about mental health disability programs.

www.verywellmind.com

Unfortunately I was looking into this earlier and because the US loves... being the US even with a lawyer helping me it would take 1-2 years before I get benefits. One to two years I can't really afford to wait.

 

[MidnightCat]

Unfortunately I was looking into this earlier and because the US loves... being the US even with a lawyer helping me it would take 1-2 years before I get benefits. One to two years I can't really afford to wait.

Sorry to hear that.

Again, not sure on how the US works as I've only been there for 5 days in my life and tbh internet is not great portraying the US...


Does something like "medical payed leave" or something like that exists?

For example, here if you're working and get sick (depression is considered too) you get 75% of your wage till "you get better".

That is true even if the company you where hired fires you.

Is there a possibility to make something like that?

Also, it's better to occupy an empty house rather than be homeless. Maybe you could try to search for something.

Again, I'm sorry I can't really help out, but trying to think of there's "something" to make it more bearable.

 

[Blackroom_57]

Unfortunately I was looking into this earlier and because the US loves... being the US even with a lawyer helping me it would take 1-2 years before I get benefits. One to two years I can't really afford to wait.

Here is a great resource for getting on disability benefits in case you change your mind

How to Get On

How to have a great, disabled life.

howtogeton.wordpress.com

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

Here is a great resource for getting on disability benefits in case you change your mind

How to Get On

How to have a great, disabled life.

howtogeton.wordpress.com

Actually wow looking at this is giving me the faintest bit of hope. The guide is good thank you.

 

[sincerelysad]

i'm so sorry you're going through this. i also want to ctb before i end up houseless so i completely understand. i wish i had resources or advice to offer, other than i do know a lot of travelers, bums, and dirty kids that do really well for themselves on the road. so there's hope in community, i suppose.

 

[Thisisme373]

I'm in a position where I could end up homeless and know how scary it is, along with my severe depression & anxiety and all other toxic family crap, if that does happen to me I will certainly end things. I hope you get things sorted. I know the feeling of no security.

 

[qwerty1969]

I have spent a few days on the street and it is not a good thing. People treat you like rubbish.