About me and goodbye thread

[ShinyScissors]

I recently made a post about my suicide planner coming in the mail. Unfortunately, I can't wait that long. My time to go is now.

• 2.5 grams of trazodone
• alcohol
• a very high railroad track with cement at the bottom

I just arrived at my spot so I'm posting this a little drunk I apologize

I put on a little makeup so I feel pretty in the coffin :) or I'll just be a splat who knows

About me:

I'm a 5'5 115lb 20 year old lady with long dirty blonde hair. I feel like I had a lot of potential. My depression is not genetic but a result of trauma. I've been kicked out of 3 households. I don't tell people that because they'll think I'm a bad person. I just want everyone to be happy. I love college so much. I like to be friends with everyone, I'm a very lively energetic positive person to them. But in reality I have BPD. I'd say I'm high functioning because I have top tier anger management. No one knows how fucking angry and hateful I am inside. I hate everything. It's taxing to always hide it. People are drawn to me but I can't help but run away. I also have OCD and ADHD, a match made in hell. People are always pissed at me for underperforming when in reality I'm trying my goddamn best. I just want to make everyone happy so bad. It's never good enough.

I am unemployed, full time student, and financially reliant on a man who is unfaithful to me. It's so lonely. I'm trapped and turned out just like my mother. Fuck this.

If this attempt is unsuccessful I will only try again. My brother took his life last year and I don't want him to be lonely.

 

[Worndown]

I hope everything goes well for you.

 

[DangerRanger]

Wishing you nothing but the best

 

[dantescorpse]

i don't know you personally, but i'm very sorry for all the pain you experienced leading up to this. i hope your last moments are peaceful. after everything you've gone through, you deserve to leave this world gently.

 

[Just_Another_Person]

I'm sorry your life turned this way. Just know I am proud of you, having BPD, OCD and ADHD is very hard so fuck those people who didn't acknowledge you.

If it is okay to compliment the pic:

Spoiler: compliment

you have amazing eyes, the color of your iris is so vivid and beautiful. And you your eyelashes are so perfect, they follow a curvy line so elegantly.

If it is not okay, I profoundly apologize, it wasn't my intention to upset you.

I hope you find peace whatever decision you take.

Best wishes.

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish, I hope you find your peace in whatever way you decide.

 

[rotciv]

Life is fucked up but you seem like a flawless woman so I hope you recover

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

I recently made a post about my suicide planner coming in the mail. Unfortunately, I can't wait that long. My time to go is now.

• 2.5 grams of trazodone
• alcohol
• a very high railroad track with cement at the bottom

I just arrived at my spot so I'm posting this a little drunk I apologize

I put on a little makeup so I feel pretty in the coffin :) or I'll just be a splat who knows

About me:

I'm a 5'5 115lb 20 year old lady with long dirty blonde hair. I feel like I had a lot of potential. My depression is not genetic but a result of trauma. I've been kicked out of 3 households. I don't tell people that because they'll think I'm a bad person. I just want everyone to be happy. I love college so much. I like to be friends with everyone, I'm a very lively energetic positive person to them. But in reality I have BPD. I'd say I'm high functioning because I have top tier anger management. No one knows how fucking angry and hateful I am inside. I hate everything. It's taxing to always hide it. People are drawn to me but I can't help but run away. I also have OCD and ADHD, a match made in hell. People are always pissed at me for underperforming when in reality I'm trying my goddamn best. I just want to make everyone happy so bad. It's never good enough.

I am unemployed, full time student, and financially reliant on a man who is unfaithful to me. It's so lonely. I'm trapped and turned out just like my mother. Fuck this.

If this attempt is unsuccessful I will only try again. My brother took his life last year and I don't want him to be lonely.



View attachment 153104

I relate so much to how you feel, I also have BPD and it's unbearable to hold my anger and hate in and I also push everyone away. I hope you find peace my dear! Always here to talk if you'd change your mind!!! Be careful!

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

How are you doing? Are you still with us?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck and all the best! I hope you find peace!

 

[po1sentree]

I hope you find peace

 

[theolivanderroach]

But in reality I have BPD. I'd say I'm high functioning because I have top tier anger management. No one knows how fucking angry and hateful I am inside. I hate everything. It's taxing to always hide it. People are drawn to me but I can't help but run away.

I relate to this so much. I also have BPD and this is exactly how I feel. Keeping the explosions inside has destroyed me. People are drawn to me too for reasons unthinkable to me. I hate it because I know I can't handle it so I push them and everyone else away. Hope you find peace.

 

[NegevChina]

I'm sorry your life brought you to this point. Wish the best for you. Hope you find peace.