Abortion grief bothering me this morning

[Final Escape]

I've been doing good not thinking about it or dwelling on the grief and regret. But then I saw some politics on it and it dredged up the feelings again. I lost all of my would be kids to abortion because I was attempting to avoid single motherhood and welfare system. They don't tell women how you can get post abortion syndrome especially if u didn't really want to abort but felt like u had no choice.

It's a traumatic reaction after abortion and stays with u especially if u have multiple abortions it is even worse. So you are basically heaping trauma after trauma after each abortion increasing your likelyhood of psychological problems and being disabled by it. They won't tell u this at the abortion clinic because it's about killing babies and using the fetal tissue for who knows what not actually about choice or what is best for women.

 

[Meretlein]

I'm sorry you feel that way. Have you considered joining a group (online or in person) of other women in your situation?

You were probably in a rough place and did what you thought was best at the time. Hindsight is 20/20.

 

[Final Escape]

I have not really thought to I guess but I should. I'm aware that it just sits there though the pain over it. I have not processed the wounds created, the loss, etc.

 

[Rachel74]

Post abortion syndrome is something. When I had mine and I'm in the uk I was offered councilling and support, not sure about other countries but you definitely need support.

 

[Final Escape]

Post abortion syndrome is something. When I had mine and I'm in the uk I was offered councilling and support, not sure about other countries but you definitely need support.

They don't offer it in the US, they just send u on your merry way. I've heard it increases risk of suicide which was the case especially after my first one. I fell into a very bad state for some weeks afterwards. Non stop crying and depression. You would think this would have stopped me from another one but the issues that led to the first one had never been resolved. It's common for women who abort to unconsciously attempt to replace the first lost pregnancy after an abortion, which is why women who get that first abortion end up having more. Great for the abortion industry but not for the women's health or mental well being.

 

[Rachel74]

They don't offer it in the US, they just send u on your merry way. I've heard it increases risk of suicide which was the case especially after my first one. I fell into a very bad state for some weeks afterwards. Non stop crying and depression. You would think this would have stopped me from another one but the issues that led to the first one had never been resolved. It's common for women who abort to unconsciously attempt to replace the first lost pregnancy after an abortion, which is why women who get that first abortion end up having more. Great for the abortion industry but not for the women's health or mental well being.

My 1st sucide attempt was after my abortion. I knew it was the right thing to do but the guilt I felt was overwhelming. Here for you if you need to chat

 

[LittleJem]

society doesn't support single mothers enough - then judges women for aborting. I'm sorry you are suffering. It really isn't your fault - this is a hard world, and USA is tougher than UK, but it's tough everywhere.

Myself, I have had an abortion. For me, I didn't have depression afterwards (but I've always had chronic depression, which was one reason why I was in no fit state to be a mother - I couldn't put a child through my mental health issues). I did "speak" to the soul of the baby before and after, and said I was sorry and I wasn't ready or able to bring the baby into the world, and wished it well on it's way.

I also did cry for a whole night about it during a peyote ceremony. I believed at the time that the baby's soul chose to go through that experience with me.

I don't believe in souls etc anymore due to such chronic depression, but maybe some kind of goodbye ritual or talking with other women or a counsellor might help?

ps they fitted an IUD for me, which is a great contraceptive. Mine is non-hormonal.

 

[Bathsheba]

I had one 25 years ago and the emotional pain was unbearable for several years but therapy can definitely help with this. Talking from experience there was one occasion years after I opened my heart and soul to a therapist about all of my feelings.. it was like I emptied myself of all the sorrow and somehow I felt released from the pain. Now my memory of having the abortion is in a box in the back of my mind and I can deal with it there without opening it and feeling that terrible pain anymore. It is horrible how stuff in the news especially political stuff can dredge up these feelings again. I'm so sorry you're suffering like this. I do believe talking helps with this issue though you just need to find the right person.

 

[LittleJem]

I think so many women have gone through abortions -also miscarriages, stillbirth etc - and it is hidden in society, but you are definitely not alone.

In the UK, it is 1 in 3 women who have had an abortion according to my quick search just now. https://www.law.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-10-12-1-3-women-uk-will-have-abortion-so-why-it-so-secret

It looks like it is 1 in 4 women in the USA who have an abortion - so again, a large number of women making this difficult choice.

 

[Final Escape]

The real issue is that the state discourages marriage through the welfare state, encouraging women into career, hold off on having kids when nature wants us to. Divorce laws favor women which discourages men from marrying bc they fear the woman can take their earnings and keep kids from them in the event of divorce. If most women married the father of their children they would not be in poverty or need the welfare system.

The problem is many women will choose a man who isn't wanting to commit or is not yet at a point in their life where they can provide well enough yet, as time goes by cost of living increases there are fewer men who can provide without the woman also having to work outside the home. We aren't educated that well to pick responsible men who will stick around and help out. This isn't the entire story but some of the issues as to why women end up needing to depend state. Many women will not pick as high of paying jobs as men and that's one reason we can't be economically equal. Also we tend to prioritize children, relationships over work so we are less likely to want to put in the long hours more men are willing to if they have families to support.

The value of the jobs women tend to do in the labor force are just not as economically valuable, it's not women's fault but we just weren't designed for the dangerous complex stuff that men do that pays more on average. Our job is highly valueable normally when women can stay home to raise their kids. It's actualy not unpaid labor bc normally your husband's income is how u are paid. This is how it used to work.

What the goal was with getting women into the labor force was to increase the tax base and to get cheap labor. This sadly was the real reason for encouraging women into work and careers and away from home. This also separated mothers from kids early which has harmed many kids because they fail to attach properly as a result. Birth control has impacted gender relations as well and not necessarily all for the good of women.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I got an abortion when I was 23. It was an accidental pregnancy with my current boyfriend. I personally felt no regrets about my decision but I know my boyfriend feels differently. It's been almost 3 years since I got that abortion, and it still sometimes comes up in arguments. Sometimes, he says things like "If you never got that abortion, you'd have a child now and you wouldn't waste time anymore with this depression nonsense."

 

[Oyoy]

I had an abortion 9 years ago. It happened 4 days before my birthday. My life has been much more difficult since then. The baby daddy committed suicide. He was my same ethnicity. I dreamed that I found a baby last night.

 

[BPDbitch]

I had an abortion in 2017 and still struggle with it, wondering what my baby would be like today. I wish I hadn't let myself be pressured.

 

[Oyoy]

I'm super grateful to not have a baby during this caronavirus.

 

[Final Escape]

Yea I don't regret not having children as they are rolling out financial collapse and communism. Glad my kids won't have to grow up under mass surveillance and full enslavement, 5G radiation causing cancer. Yay that's the world I want for kids. I'm being sarcastic. I guess they want to turn the US into Cuba. Cuba is a communist country where the citizens get like a tiny bit of money from gov once a month and nobody does anything. Everything is illegal. Not sure how this is a good thing but ok lol! I guess we need to be in very depressing conditions for the rulers to be happy.