A warning about timecave

[TiredHorse]

I live alone. When I ctb it'll be with exit bag/N2. I'm all set up, ready to go. Lots of notes written, will made out, cremation pre-paid, etc. The big difficulty was in figuring out how to let the coroner know to come get the body, since I don't want my sister or a close friend discovering it.

I decided to use a delayed-delivery email system to send an email to the sheriff saying, "I'm dead; died last night; I used an exit bag with N2; the body will be in such-and-such a location; come to XXX address and do what you need to do."

Simple: I ctb late at night, and the email arrives at the sheriff's office during business hours the next day. If I set the delivery time far enough ahead, it also allows me to go in and cancel the email if I flinch --which I've now done a couple times.

I chose Time Cave as the email delivery service: it's free, and it allows me to cancel the email any time before it's sent.

I tried this past Monday. Had the bag on my head, filled with N2, was ready to pull it down over my face, and couldn't do it. Yeah, I know; I'm a coward.

So I went to Time Cave, cancelled the email. This was in the wee hours of Monday morning. But when I went in later, about an hour before the email would have been sent, making VERY sure no one would know of my attempt --the LAST thing I need is to set off a social explosion and get sectioned-- Time Cave was acting wonky, telling me I had written X messages, when if that "come get my husk" note had been deleted it should have been X-1.

Oh Sh**!

I pinged their admin, asking to make sure I didn't have any messages in the queue. They came back about 20 minutes later: all clear, no messages in the queue.

Whew!

30 minutes later, a sheriff's deputy was on my doorstep for a welfare check. "A note had been found on my computer" that I intended to kill myself with N2. I fudged my way out of it perfectly plausibly --I'm a writer, I was corresponding with another writer about a story plot, etc.-- but I was NOT happy. And there was absolutely no way, from the details the deputy cited, it could have been from any other source but that email I had supposedly deleted.

1) That email had not actually been deleted from Time Cave's server when I cancelled it. It might have been removed from the queue, but it was still fully present and accessible to Time Cave staff.

2) Time Cave staff have access not just to email metadata, but to the body text of emails sent through their system.

3) Time Cave is apparently run by pro-lifers.

I doubt Time Cave reads all the email that goes through their server, and they undoubtedly only noticed my note because I drew their attention to it --but it is not okay that they then read my mail and forwarded it along.

I have since changed over to LetterMeLater, as an email delay service. It's free, has more features, and I have a clean record with them. I expect that so long as I don't do anything to catch their attention, they won't go reading my emails and alerting the authorities --my note to the sheriff will not catch any attention so long as it is just another delayed email in their system-- but I'm still thinking hard about whether I even want to use that approach.

Just figured it might be of some interest to the community here.

 

[Lovemykids]

Thanks for sharing this

 

[WaitingForTheBus]

I am using Boomerang. Never tried it but I may have to give it a trial run before hand. Although i won't be leaving any details as to my method, as it is not harmful to others, I would hate for my kids to receive an email if I changed my mind.

BTW, because you had a change of heart and didn't go through with it, does NOT make you a coward.

 

[TiredHorse]

Definitely give any email service a trial run beforehand: email forwarding services are often tagged as spam by some ISPs, so your email might not go through. I discovered that emails run through Time Cave didn't go through to about half the people I intended to send notes to --my emails simply never appeared in their inboxes. I had done a test run to the sheriff (an inoccuous question), so I knew it worked for that most important purpose, but I've had to write out a few postal letters, too.

If anyone uses gmail, apparently there's a built-in delay function you can use. That would be a good way to accomplish the task via an ISP that other ISPs recognize as legit and don't block.

I was a Firefighter/EMT, and I know how stressful it can be to come onto an incident not knowing what has been left lying around that might kill me, so I made sure the LEOs knew that the scene was safe: I used inert gas and I used outside (plenty of ventilation to disperse the n2), so their own health would not be at risk.

Yeah, making sure the parting emails/letters don't get delivered prematurely is pretty important.

I feel like a coward. I know it's time to go, know there's no way forward into anything like joy or fulfillment, but a couple times now haven't been able to pull the bag down and ctb. I hate it. The pain is eating me alive from the inside, I am non-functional, and yet there is this horrible callus of numbness growing over me, paralysing me from ctb. If you've ever seen the Brendan Frasier "Mummy," I feel like Imhotep, locked in his sarcophagus with the scarabs eating him alive. The scarabs are a part of my life now, but too much longer like this and I'm terrified I won't be able to push aside the sarcophagus lid and end my pain.

 

[Idorus]

Wow that makes those delayed-deliver systems pretty questionable. Thanks for sharing.
I assume there isn't anyone in your immediate surrounding who can send a letter (per post) or email at the time of your wish. Is there someone from here you trust and who can send per encrypted protonmail or something? Canceling wouldn't be a problem either then. Don't know if this is too much to ask from someone here.

 

[TiredHorse]

I've definitely reshuffled my plan a bit. I'm using a different delay service --LetterMeLater-- but I'm backing it up with a note for my mail carrier, in the post box. The mail comes around noon, so I ctb in the wee hours and it's all good: if the email goes through first, great; if the mailman calls it in, that's fine too. If I can't ctb, I just delete the email and remove the note from the mailbox and no one's the wiser.

I'd feel funny asking someone from here to call it in. I don't trust that there wouldn't be some flavor of backlash against y'all, and I really don't want that. Besides, if my cowardice wins yet again, the logistics are more complex with others involved --and I'm already too exhausted to add more complexity.

 

[TAW122]

At this rate, I don't think I'd do delayed email (or send it very shortly before I ctb since my method is almost instanteous (firearm)) given the risks. Thanks for the heads up though and I hope you are able to find peace soon.

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

I'm starting to think that a piece of software, running on your computer, would be interesting for this purpose. This might be interesting.

 

[Jen Erik]

I'm starting to think that a piece of software, running on your computer, would be interesting for this purpose.

https://addons.thunderbird.net/en-US/thunderbird/addon/send-later-3/

@invisiblycrippled posted this in another thread on scheduled email, it's an extension for the Mozilla Thunderbird email client that is available, free of cost, for all the major desktop operating systems.

I tried it out, and it works as described. I like it, because the email is stored on my computer until it is sent. If I cancel the schedule, I can delete the email entirely if I want, there is no having to rely on a third party's system and inadvertently ending up in the kind of situation described above.

 

[TiredHorse]

I've never been able to get Thunderbird to work properly on my computer --but with this plug-in, I'm now going to try again! I can't imagine a more secure system for email delay than one that lives on my computer.

Thank you, @Jen Erik.

 

[TiredHorse]

Just spent the last little while wrestling with Thunderbird. No luck. I think I'll stick with LetterMeLater, if for no other reason than I have the attention span of a goldfish, these days, and trying to create something new has left me exhausted. You might not believe it, but I'm not doing real well of late...

Also, reading the manual for that add-on, it apparently has some trouble getting emails delivered with select servers, too.

If you can make it work, Thunderbird + Add-on sounds like the way to go --but still, send test emails to make sure your eventual recipients will actually get the delayed emails you intend for them to receive.

 

[Jen Erik]

Just spent the last little while wrestling with Thunderbird. No luck.

Ugh, I'm sorry it didn't work out.

 

[Idorus]

I just installed the extension on my Thunderbird. But... if I see it right, Thunderbird has to be active to be able to send the message? This can cause problems if you want to send the message 10 hours later.. cause your pc HAS to be still "on" then, am I seeing this right?

 

[Jen Erik]

cause your pc HAS to be still "on" then, am I seeing this right?

Yes, that's right.

What you could do is set your PC to shut down at a time after your email is scheduled to be sent.

 

[TiredHorse]

cause your pc HAS to be still "on" then, am I seeing this right?

There may be ways for you to schedule your PC to turn on --or at least "wake up"-- on a schedule (my Mac can supposedly do that, though I've never tried it). In that case you could sleep your PC, with a Thunderbird window open and ready to go, having scheduled it to wake whenever you like. As soon as the PC wakes itself, your email(s) would send themselves.

In theory, anyway...

 

[Idorus]

Ok thanks yes idd all options there. But knowing myself I would leave it just "on" the entire time (good experiences with that lol). It ofcourse also depends on the method I was thinking and if I step out I want to be gone within a minute through my preferred nitro setting. It will be another story when taking N. for example cause it might take hourss to be truly gone but I would only use that one when utterly desperate or in case of a nuclear war or something. I don't have my nitro setting ready yet.