A warning about “opening up”

[TimetoGo!]

If anyone has seen my posts on here, I have openly admitted I would like to end my life due to my business failing after covid 19 , crippling debts and losing my self worth, self esteem, motivation and discipline. I am skint, losing my car, cant buy clothes and my wife pays (or in her words "forced ") to pay the bills. As a man/husband that kills me , after providing a good life for many years. I even funded my wife's business so she has the career she has now. I have simply lost the will to live. I hate life with a passion.

I have had a method in my mind for a while now and have it all set up ready to go when I finally feel ready, which I hoped was two weeks ago when my wife was away. (I planned on drowning myself) .Basically a delivery went to the wrong address and she put two and two together and figured out my plan. I was gutted.

I still have the materials I need to carry out my CTB, but because I probably opened up too much in the heat of arguments, she now uses that as a reason to use the terms "selfish ", "cowardly ", "ruin families lives".

It's almost become an open topic. Which I never wanted. Open dialogue as to how or when I may want to end my life.

If you seriously feel enough is enough for you, then my advice is to say as little to people as possible, because they simply just do not understand suicide if they are pro-life.

I am 100% certain I will end my life, because there is no coming back and being happy again, not with the way I feel about myself and the world/people in general. Im done!

I suffer every single day and I refuse to grow old in depression and poverty. No chance!!

I was once a great guy, had built a life, was looked up to and respected and always treated people with the utmost respect. But now I am struggling financially and mentally, people avoid me!!

Thanks for reading.

Much love

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I agree with you in regards to not opening up. Those who are selfish and don't understand an individuals plight, can use it against you.

I'm sorry about your business, mate. To work very hard for something and have it stripped away from you, through no fault of your own, must be especially damaging to your mental state.

It's integrated into society to shame men, when they're going through financial difficulties and it's automatically assumed that they're lazy, or fucked up in some way. This shaming has driven many thoroughly good men to suicide, my close friend being one of them.

It's amazing how differently people treat you, when they don't see you as their equal any more, isn't it?

 

[TimetoGo!]

I agree with you in regards to not opening up. Those who are selfish and don't understand an individuals plight, can use it against you.

I'm sorry about your business, mate. To work very hard for something and have it stripped away from you, through no fault of your own, must be especially damaging to your mental state.

It's integrated into society to shame men, when they're going through financial difficulties and it's automatically assumed that they're lazy, or fucked up in some way. This shaming has driven many thoroughly good men to suicide, my close friend being one of them.

It's amazing how differently people treat you, when they don't see you as their equal any more, isn't it?

I agree with you in regards to not opening up. Those who are selfish and don't understand an individuals plight, can use it against you.

I'm sorry about your business, mate. To work very hard for something and have it stripped away from you, through no fault of your own, must be especially damaging to your mental state.

It's integrated into society to shame men, when they're going through financial difficulties and it's automatically assumed that they're lazy, or fucked up in some way. This shaming has driven many thoroughly good men to suicide, my close friend being one of them.

It's amazing how differently people treat you, when they don't see you as their equal any more, isn't it?

Thank you means alot.
And definitely agree on society does when you aren't doing as well as before.

I feel some have enjoyed it, and some pretend to care but behind closed doors laugh at you.

Sorry to hear about your friend mate

 

[downndone2]

Hopefully things are going better.

I lost my business around the same time. Also, lost marriage, tons of money, and myself.

Here I am in 2023 and I really am at my last straw. Debilitating depression, crippling anxiety, etc. Jobless again, unmotivated, just sucks

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Thank you means alot.
And definitely agree on society does when you aren't doing as well as before.

I feel some have enjoyed it, and some pretend to care but behind closed doors laugh at you.

Sorry to hear about your friend mate

Thanks mate.

I was still a teenager at the time and he was a few years older, so I didn't fully understand his reasons for it and was quite upset with him. Obviously, as I got older, I realised how he must have been feeling and that he was backed into a corner, with no way out, so I feel only sadness in regards to the whole situation.

Maybe if we treated those who were down on their luck with a lot more compassion, they wouldn't be driven to this.

 

[TimetoGo!]

Hopefully things are going better.

I lost my business around the same time. Also, lost marriage, tons of money, and myself.

Here I am in 2023 and I really am at my last straw. Debilitating depression, crippling anxiety, etc. Jobless again, unmotivated, just sucks

Would be good to have a chat sometime mate

 

[downndone2]

Would be good to have a chat sometime mate

Feel free to message me anytime

 

[LocalAngel]

I think i needed to hear this, honestly. It's a sad, but true reality check that pro-lifers are just much much more common

 

[CTB Dream]

V understand this ,befr have money have many othr now nothing injury damage no able any. All awful life. This als differ but understand lose, can do befr any write etc now no thinf ths all awful, v sory life concept cruel make deteriort lose .also ya no tell any human try litl, human species awful need careful l

 

[in hell out soon]

im never opening up again. i should've been aborted.

so OP i relate.

 

[SexyIncél]

If you were a great guy then, you're still a great guy now! That didn't change, just your circumstances. Including those who unmasked and betrayed you

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I believe that people should never open up about wanting to die as such a thing will certainly just make things worse and could never be beneficial. I think that it's sad how suicide is so stigmatised and how suicidal people are treat so badly simply for wishing to leave behind an existence that they never even asked for. But sadly this is just the reality so of course it's best to keep quiet to avoid the risk of others potentially interfering in suicide plans, which they should have no right to do.

 

[TimetoGo!]

If you were a great guy then, you're still a great guy now! That didn't change, just your circumstances. Including those who unmasked and betrayed you

Thank you

 

[absolomonisgone]

Sorry. Never open up to your wife no matter what progressive feminist liberal susu whatnot tell you woman only want you provide if she provide it's drama drama bullshit abuse all time

 

[SamTam33]

I regret telling the handful of people I've opened up to. But I keep reminding myself that telling someone is part of the process.

In order for me to overcome SI and jump, I'll have to have tried everything I could think of.

So opening up to people and have them not understand - is exactly what I needed to happen.

That way, I won't be standing on the bridge wondering if just talking to someone and getting it off my chest would've helped.

 

[Dot]

If anyone has seen my posts on here, I have openly admitted I would like to end my life due to my business failing after covid 19 , crippling debts and losing my self worth, self esteem, motivation and discipline. I am skint, losing my car, cant buy clothes and my wife pays (or in her words "forced ") to pay the bills. As a man/husband that kills me , after providing a good life for many years. I even funded my wife's business so she has the career she has now. I have simply lost the will to live. I hate life with a passion.

I have had a method in my mind for a while now and have it all set up ready to go when I finally feel ready, which I hoped was two weeks ago when my wife was away. (I planned on drowning myself) .Basically a delivery went to the wrong address and she put two and two together and figured out my plan. I was gutted.

I still have the materials I need to carry out my CTB, but because I probably opened up too much in the heat of arguments, she now uses that as a reason to use the terms "selfish ", "cowardly ", "ruin families lives".

It's almost become an open topic. Which I never wanted. Open dialogue as to how or when I may want to end my life.

If you seriously feel enough is enough for you, then my advice is to say as little to people as possible, because they simply just do not understand suicide if they are pro-life.

I am 100% certain I will end my life, because there is no coming back and being happy again, not with the way I feel about myself and the world/people in general. Im done!

I suffer every single day and I refuse to grow old in depression and poverty. No chance!!

I was once a great guy, had built a life, was looked up to and respected and always treated people with the utmost respect. But now I am struggling financially and mentally, people avoid me!!

Thanks for reading.

Much love

Am srry tht ur wife cld nt apprch this as a team wth u -- '4 richr & 4 poorr' = prt of th/ vows

Sorry. Never open up to your wife no matter what progressive feminist liberal susu whatnot tell you woman only want you provide if she provide it's drama drama bullshit abuse all time

Srry if ur xperience hs bn lke ths bt = nt tru fr evry1

 

[TimetoGo!]

I regret telling the handful of people I've opened up to. But I keep reminding myself that telling someone is part of the process.

In order for me to overcome SI and jump, I'll have to have tried everything I could think of.

So opening up to people and have them not understand - is exactly what I needed to happen.

That way, I won't be standing on the bridge wondering if just talking to someone and getting it off my chest would've helped.

yeh good point to be fair

 

[AnonymousS]

If anyone has seen my posts on here, I have openly admitted I would like to end my life due to my business failing after covid 19 , crippling debts and losing my self worth, self esteem, motivation and discipline. I am skint, losing my car, cant buy clothes and my wife pays (or in her words "forced ") to pay the bills. As a man/husband that kills me , after providing a good life for many years. I even funded my wife's business so she has the career she has now. I have simply lost the will to live. I hate life with a passion.

I have had a method in my mind for a while now and have it all set up ready to go when I finally feel ready, which I hoped was two weeks ago when my wife was away. (I planned on drowning myself) .Basically a delivery went to the wrong address and she put two and two together and figured out my plan. I was gutted.

I still have the materials I need to carry out my CTB, but because I probably opened up too much in the heat of arguments, she now uses that as a reason to use the terms "selfish ", "cowardly ", "ruin families lives".

It's almost become an open topic. Which I never wanted. Open dialogue as to how or when I may want to end my life.

If you seriously feel enough is enough for you, then my advice is to say as little to people as possible, because they simply just do not understand suicide if they are pro-life.

I am 100% certain I will end my life, because there is no coming back and being happy again, not with the way I feel about myself and the world/people in general. Im done!

I suffer every single day and I refuse to grow old in depression and poverty. No chance!!

I was once a great guy, had built a life, was looked up to and respected and always treated people with the utmost respect. But now I am struggling financially and mentally, people avoid me!!

Thanks for reading.

Much love

Sorry things have gotten so rough, it reminds of the old blues song, about nobody loves or knows you when you're down and out. When you're doing well, people can seem great. It's when you are on your arse that you find out who your real friends are. Whatever happens, i hope you find some sort of peace.

 

[blanket99]

If anyone has seen my posts on here, I have openly admitted I would like to end my life due to my business failing after covid 19 , crippling debts and losing my self worth, self esteem, motivation and discipline. I am skint, losing my car, cant buy clothes and my wife pays (or in her words "forced ") to pay the bills. As a man/husband that kills me , after providing a good life for many years. I even funded my wife's business so she has the career she has now. I have simply lost the will to live. I hate life with a passion.

I have had a method in my mind for a while now and have it all set up ready to go when I finally feel ready, which I hoped was two weeks ago when my wife was away. (I planned on drowning myself) .Basically a delivery went to the wrong address and she put two and two together and figured out my plan. I was gutted.

I still have the materials I need to carry out my CTB, but because I probably opened up too much in the heat of arguments, she now uses that as a reason to use the terms "selfish ", "cowardly ", "ruin families lives".

It's almost become an open topic. Which I never wanted. Open dialogue as to how or when I may want to end my life.

If you seriously feel enough is enough for you, then my advice is to say as little to people as possible, because they simply just do not understand suicide if they are pro-life.

I am 100% certain I will end my life, because there is no coming back and being happy again, not with the way I feel about myself and the world/people in general. Im done!

I suffer every single day and I refuse to grow old in depression and poverty. No chance!!

I was once a great guy, had built a life, was looked up to and respected and always treated people with the utmost respect. But now I am struggling financially and mentally, people avoid me!!

Thanks for reading.

Much love

I wish I could be of more help only that I feel similar and wish I could open up to one of the few people I have left in my life and pour my feelings out to them, but I'm not sure if that person ever existed.

 

[TimetoGo!]

Sorry things have gotten so rough, it reminds of the old blues song, about nobody loves or knows you when you're down and out. When you're doing well, people can seem great. It's when you are on your arse that you find out who your real friends are. Whatever happens, i hope you find some sort of peace.

Very true words

 

[fell]

You put to words exactly how I feel 100% re; my business crumbling, the economy, feeling completely hopeless and like a failure, and no hope for my own economic future, ability to survive, or happiness. I also regret opening up to others about it, because it hasn't actually alleviated any sources of the suffering - it's just made it even harder to go. I'm so sorry you're going through this too

 

[TimetoGo!]

You put to words exactly how I feel 100% re; my business crumbling, the economy, feeling completely hopeless and like a failure, and no hope for my own economic future, ability to survive, or happiness. I also regret opening up to others about it, because it hasn't actually alleviated any sources of the suffering - it's just made it even harder to go. I'm so sorry you're going through this too

Same to you and thanks for your words. Worst thing ever is losing everything you have worked for and people almost feeling sorry for you….or acting like they feel sorry for you when they really don't give a toss.

 

[fell]

I understand. I actually recently shared publicly to my IG Stories (close friends list) that I was suicidal. All my people I consider the most dear to me, who've said in person how much they love/support me and apparently all value therapy, getting support, mental health, etc… everyone saw it and only 2 friends reached out My best friend, who I was the maid of honor in her wedding, saw it and didn't reach out. I get everyone has their own lives…. but when shit really gets tough - when someone says "I am near to ending my life" - suddenly, there's crickets. Or worse, shame. It's really heartbreaking.

I've had no idea how to navigate the feelings, honestly. The social supports + the financial supports ripped from businesses that failed beyond our control - it feels like the perfect storm. It's felt so embarrassing, and I feel hopeless to try to rebuild (if I even had the energy to - I cry at the thought of trying to build a new business or find something else deeply unsatisfying)

Sorry for the vent here. Your post touched me so deeply in so many ways as I'm going through so much of the same. Thank you *hug*

 

[Bardo]

If anyone has seen my posts on here, I have openly admitted I would like to end my life due to my business failing after covid 19 , crippling debts and losing my self worth, self esteem, motivation and discipline. I am skint, losing my car, cant buy clothes and my wife pays (or in her words "forced ") to pay the bills. As a man/husband that kills me , after providing a good life for many years. I even funded my wife's business so she has the career she has now. I have simply lost the will to live. I hate life with a passion.

I have had a method in my mind for a while now and have it all set up ready to go when I finally feel ready, which I hoped was two weeks ago when my wife was away. (I planned on drowning myself) .Basically a delivery went to the wrong address and she put two and two together and figured out my plan. I was gutted.

I still have the materials I need to carry out my CTB, but because I probably opened up too much in the heat of arguments, she now uses that as a reason to use the terms "selfish ", "cowardly ", "ruin families lives".

It's almost become an open topic. Which I never wanted. Open dialogue as to how or when I may want to end my life.

If you seriously feel enough is enough for you, then my advice is to say as little to people as possible, because they simply just do not understand suicide if they are pro-life.

I am 100% certain I will end my life, because there is no coming back and being happy again, not with the way I feel about myself and the world/people in general. Im done!

I suffer every single day and I refuse to grow old in depression and poverty. No chance!!

I was once a great guy, had built a life, was looked up to and respected and always treated people with the utmost respect. But now I am struggling financially and mentally, people avoid me!!

Thanks for reading.

Much love

I'm so sorry you feel this way. Does your wife explicitly or implicitly express resentment toward you for needing to help you (as you greatly helped her in the past)? There are a number of men's rights books at the Internet Archive available for free. THE FEMINIST LIE by Bob Lewis; WHO STOLE FEMINISM? by Christina Hoff Sommers; WHY MEN ARE THE WAY THEY ARE by Warren Farrell; THE MYTH OF MALE POWER (also by Farrell); THE SECOND SEXISM by David Benatar...(Despite the provocative title or two, these are not anti-woman books in any way; they are against the superiority that Feminism now touts, hence they are simply calling it out and trying to achieve equality).

As a male, I certainly understand the incredible pressure and biases that accompany the traditional roles and the expectations we internalize. The shame, too, if things go south. I've been betrayed a few times by girlfriends who I helped out greatly, even a sister who owes me more than $35,000 still and hasn't paid back a penny, though I saved her bacon. There's incredible anger too, of course.

Just know there are many men who feel as you do and we're the gender most likely to commit suicide and complete it. Maybe reaching out to the men's rights orgs for a therapist who understands men's specific pressures and issues will be of assistance. Wishing you the best, Brother.

 

[ryo the frog]

this post made me realize how keen people are to turn their back on and abandon someone when they're in a rough spot.
life sure is unfair, I wish you well.

 

[SexyIncél]

this post made me realize how keen people are to turn their back on and abandon someone when they're in a rough spot.

Yeah, I think most people are NPCs. I wish that weren't the case, I hope it's only because we're trained to be NPCs since birth. But whatever the reason, I can come to no other conclusion

Some people are so good at mainstream situations, they act like PCs. But outside that range, *boom* they become scripted robots

And some PCs I know are fairly psychopathic...

In this world, it's vital to analyze people coldly. Figure out what states of mind explain their actions. If a friend frequently does little dickish things, maybe they're a dick. Not just for small decisions, but the biggest ones too

Some people can still look great after that cold analytical scrutiny. Those are the important ones to find. They're less likely to ruin you

 

[llih326]

It's such a nuanced topic. There are so many people who can go on to live happy and fulfilling lives if they opt to be vulnerable and open up. But so many others would not find a support network capable of easing them through a difficult time. And in situations where the outcome is inevitable, I think most struggle to understand and support a decision that feels so wrong to them. I imagine it's even worse if the person's life on paper looks good to the people they are sharing with.

Personally, I think exhausting every avenue is worthwhile if a person can bring themself to do it. It may not require disclosing that a person is seriously considering ctb, but I feel at least genuinely opening up in a vulnerable way that could result in the surprise of a supportive and transformative response is worth trying. But I can certainly understand that not everyone has the energy or will to try that.

 

[my_sundown]

I'm sorry about everything you said. I can really understand what you are saying. There is sadly no space in this society to discuss this topic in a rational manner. I often wish people would open their mind like they have to other important things. So I'm stuck not telling anyone or talking to anyone and need help … so it goes.

 

[SuicideDreams]

I hope you find peace man.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

If anyone has seen my posts on here, I have openly admitted I would like to end my life due to my business failing after covid 19 , crippling debts and losing my self worth, self esteem, motivation and discipline. I am skint, losing my car, cant buy clothes and my wife pays (or in her words "forced ") to pay the bills. As a man/husband that kills me , after providing a good life for many years. I even funded my wife's business so she has the career she has now. I have simply lost the will to live. I hate life with a passion.

I have had a method in my mind for a while now and have it all set up ready to go when I finally feel ready, which I hoped was two weeks ago when my wife was away. (I planned on drowning myself) .Basically a delivery went to the wrong address and she put two and two together and figured out my plan. I was gutted.

I still have the materials I need to carry out my CTB, but because I probably opened up too much in the heat of arguments, she now uses that as a reason to use the terms "selfish ", "cowardly ", "ruin families lives".

It's almost become an open topic. Which I never wanted. Open dialogue as to how or when I may want to end my life.

If you seriously feel enough is enough for you, then my advice is to say as little to people as possible, because they simply just do not understand suicide if they are pro-life.

I am 100% certain I will end my life, because there is no coming back and being happy again, not with the way I feel about myself and the world/people in general. Im done!

I suffer every single day and I refuse to grow old in depression and poverty. No chance!!

I was once a great guy, had built a life, was looked up to and respected and always treated people with the utmost respect. But now I am struggling financially and mentally, people avoid me!!

Thanks for reading.

Much love

Sorry life has brought you here. I did tell a buddy of mine about wanting to die. Didn't react well. I guess no one does. I haven't said anything since. I'm lucky he didn't call family.
Wish I had some good advice. Sorry your wife is such a bitch. Are there any financial protection services in your area? If you are in the U.S. there is this. https://www.consumerfinance.gov/
Might be worth looking into.