I
Irish_V
New Member
- Aug 14, 2024
- 2
This is my first time posting here so I apologize if I get anything wrong
I'm not sure if I should break this post up or just lay everything out, but regardless I'll see where this goes
I'm 22 years old now, and ever since I was about 15 years old I've had a constant struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts, up until I was 19 I had the very standard teenage up and down so I was able to deal with these emotions on good days and pass through the bad ones. At 17 I attempted to take my life by hanging myself but my belt (which I tried using as a noose) fell as soon as I kicked my chair down and the thud noise alerted my dog and I quickly had to hide everything from my parents. At 21 I tried again using a very similar method, but I gave up. Since then I had once struggled with paranoia as well as questioning my own identity as a man. I might go more in depth as I feel more comfortable but at the beginning of this year I attempted again to take my own life using the "Night-Night" method but my friends called the police and I was sent to a mental institution for 3 days. Ever since then I've felt more so on life support than actually alive, the medication I have and the therapy I'm taking worked for a short while but I'm trudging along now as it is. It's like the dopamine in my brain has turned off and nothing keeps me hopeful enough to want to keep going other than thinking of how my parents will react to my death.
I'm currently experiencing one of the greater lows of my life, I'm not going anywhere, and I don't have any motivation to do so. I'm looking for an easy way out, I read about Robin Williams' suicide and would like to know in more detail how his method works. I've tried taking a look at the suicide pills and other medication and might one day end up breaking and ordering those if I can't build myself up to asphyxiating myself. I just want to find peace.
Thanks for reading, I might post more below if I feel comfortable enough.
I'm not sure if I should break this post up or just lay everything out, but regardless I'll see where this goes
I'm 22 years old now, and ever since I was about 15 years old I've had a constant struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts, up until I was 19 I had the very standard teenage up and down so I was able to deal with these emotions on good days and pass through the bad ones. At 17 I attempted to take my life by hanging myself but my belt (which I tried using as a noose) fell as soon as I kicked my chair down and the thud noise alerted my dog and I quickly had to hide everything from my parents. At 21 I tried again using a very similar method, but I gave up. Since then I had once struggled with paranoia as well as questioning my own identity as a man. I might go more in depth as I feel more comfortable but at the beginning of this year I attempted again to take my own life using the "Night-Night" method but my friends called the police and I was sent to a mental institution for 3 days. Ever since then I've felt more so on life support than actually alive, the medication I have and the therapy I'm taking worked for a short while but I'm trudging along now as it is. It's like the dopamine in my brain has turned off and nothing keeps me hopeful enough to want to keep going other than thinking of how my parents will react to my death.
I'm currently experiencing one of the greater lows of my life, I'm not going anywhere, and I don't have any motivation to do so. I'm looking for an easy way out, I read about Robin Williams' suicide and would like to know in more detail how his method works. I've tried taking a look at the suicide pills and other medication and might one day end up breaking and ordering those if I can't build myself up to asphyxiating myself. I just want to find peace.
Thanks for reading, I might post more below if I feel comfortable enough.