A Story of my life

[absolomonisgone]

i'm drunk. and i want to tell you the story of my life. it's a big story. i was born in africa, kenya, in the middle of nowhere. like in africa. middle of nowhere. then shit happenned because my mom gave birth to me when she was an unmarried kid aged 16 years ... with her relative...., the relative was her cousin. so i was fucked up from conception. i was unwanted child. nobody wanted me. not my mom, not my relatives. nobody. NOBODY. so i lived in a village in the middle of nowhere in kenya...., my mom went to live in a a place where it was easy to survive because of economic activities..., she became a nurse of sorts. looking back, my mom hated me because to her i was an inconvinience in her life......, so she took me to a boarding school. in that boarding school, we have maasai people of kenya...., they were kind of wierd. i was abused, sexually, i was abused even as a person to exist in this world. THIS IS FIRST TIME OPENING ON THIS.... I WAS ABUSED. ABUSED> I was abused, used and denigraded beyond what anyone on this platform can imagine. YOU have no clue.
OK. I was a genius of sorts....., so no matter how they abuse or degrade me or use me..I have my brain to fall back on. So my brain took me to all these places all over. I'm very educated...., phds, and all. so my brain and education kind of keep me above the water but then i know i have to kill myself.
OK. I'm drunk. And I must kill myself in the place I was born at......, a very small village .., somewhere in kenya. a very small village. i can't even go to that village......, because i don't belong there.
but that small village is my home and they will burry me..., but i know i don't belong there. i'm a stanger.
WHAT THE HELL IM I SAYING?
oh. i'm highly regarded inm kenya and uk.
now here i am.
i have sn with me. easy to buy in kenya. cheap too. but i'm 70 km from my village. i want tod die in my village. i can die anywhere i want. but im connected to my village..., not rhat anyone knows me tere as i left 30 or 40 years ago, but still remember it. it was the only place i felt alive/. it was such a good/nice place... it was like life and i felt life and alive. .. i have a daughter with a woman who had her for my money...., only regret in life is that daughter ..., the kid will suffrer. and it is so sasd.

 

[Aisley]

Have you thought about exposing the boarding school before you go?

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrific what you've had to endure, it really is disgusting how humans create so much harm, I really do believe that people shouldn't procreate in such a hellish world. But anyway, I wish you the best.

 

[man_in_red:)]

That's very saddening and I hope all those people regret their decisions even though they probably won't. Hopefully there are no abusers wherever you go after death.

 

[absolomonisgone]

Have you thought about exposing the boarding school before you go?

that was 30 years ago. i never went back there. that's the place wher my life got broken. i always want to go back there. ....., in kenya thhings don't work like usa, etc. we have some places out of the world....like..., i've never been there in 30 years. it's a very remote place. no roads there.

That sounds really horrific what you've had to endure, it really is disgusting how humans create so much harm, I really do believe that people shouldn't procreate in such a hellish world. But anyway, I wish you the best.

funeral cry, can i dm you?