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wellitisnotwhatitis
oh hi..
- Aug 3, 2024
- 12
Hi everyone, I have been lurking here for around a year and have finally decided to make an account.
Probably, for me and many other people, the hardest part about suicide is imagining consequences and sufferings it will bring upon our family members. I would describe relationship with my family as if we are friends, rather than family, but I do know that they love me, they care about me and they worry about me. We are pretty far apart geographically, so I am not concerned about them finding the body If I ever actually decide to commit suicide, but I am more concerned about their emotional sufferings.
I have bipolar disorder and they are not aware about this, and I am considering writing a goodbye note mentioning the state of my mental health. However, I might add a bit of exaggeration to the note. I dont hear the voices, but that's what I will put down, describing how insufferable and unbearable life became specifically due to this, how I am worried about well being of others being affected by this. The reason to add this thing about voices is to make them feel more comfortable understanding why I have decided to ctb, making them feel less responsible for this life outcome.
But honestly, I feel bad about lying in my goodbye note, I cant really weigh my options.
Would you consider acceptable attempting to add some non-existent "details" to the final note in order to lessen the sufferings of your loved ones?
After all, maybe I am just worried that I will not be able to convey my feelings without this lie, and I should just think through this better, so that I dont have to lie.
Probably, for me and many other people, the hardest part about suicide is imagining consequences and sufferings it will bring upon our family members. I would describe relationship with my family as if we are friends, rather than family, but I do know that they love me, they care about me and they worry about me. We are pretty far apart geographically, so I am not concerned about them finding the body If I ever actually decide to commit suicide, but I am more concerned about their emotional sufferings.
I have bipolar disorder and they are not aware about this, and I am considering writing a goodbye note mentioning the state of my mental health. However, I might add a bit of exaggeration to the note. I dont hear the voices, but that's what I will put down, describing how insufferable and unbearable life became specifically due to this, how I am worried about well being of others being affected by this. The reason to add this thing about voices is to make them feel more comfortable understanding why I have decided to ctb, making them feel less responsible for this life outcome.
But honestly, I feel bad about lying in my goodbye note, I cant really weigh my options.
Would you consider acceptable attempting to add some non-existent "details" to the final note in order to lessen the sufferings of your loved ones?
After all, maybe I am just worried that I will not be able to convey my feelings without this lie, and I should just think through this better, so that I dont have to lie.