• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

CentreMid

CentreMid

Midfielder
Aug 23, 2018
534
My partner and I hit a rough patch about a month and a half ago. We both said and did things that we regret, but we've both decided to stay with each other and work through our problems together. I love her with every fibre of what's left of me, and although I think life is ultimately worthless, there is some small part of me that thinks and hopes that she and I can work.

However, lately it feels like I've been doing most of, if not all of, the work in trying to put our relationship back together, and things between us have felt very one-sided to me.

Today was one of the first days I felt like I was making any progress in healing with her and just healing in general. She was affectionate and I trusted that she was being genuine with me instead of just going through the motions (Lately I've been feeling like she doesn't actually love me anymore and only stays out of pity).

I know this isn't very significant, as this has happened only once or twice since the initial conflict. Even though we both have a long way to go in terms of healing ourselves and what we have together, but I think any win is still a win no matter how big or small.

I also know that fixing my relationship alone won't cancel out my reasons for wanting to ctb (money, trauma, mental illness, etc.), BUT it will definitely be one less thing I have to worry about, plus, I'll be honest, it will make leaving a lot less lonely.

Anywho, to anyone who's read this far, thanks for reading
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: looseye, aubrey!, EfiLoneVolon and 3 others
LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Pray for my release
Jul 23, 2022
4,546
I'm glad; I hope this trend continues.
 
  • Like
Reactions: CentreMid

Similar threads

butterbutter143
Replies
5
Views
347
Offtopic
TBONTB
T
Alex_Was_Here
Replies
41
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
Alex_Was_Here
Alex_Was_Here
orcapythia
Replies
3
Views
322
Recovery
StoicPizza
S
J
Replies
2
Views
308
Suicide Discussion
SeekingSerenity
S
emilyprentiss
Replies
7
Views
412
Suicide Discussion
fromange
fromange