A quick update about my SN and how I'm still alive.

[Waiting for death]

Hello my dear friends!

Two days ago, I was underestimating and I have never thought that SN is such a powerful poison. To my surprise it wasn't a really "painful" method. I didn't follow and protocol. I went to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee after dinner, so my stomach was full. I took na empty mug to my bedroom and about one tablespoon of SN and then I dissolved it in a mug full of water and I drank it immediately.


When I went to my bedroom to sleep, I did what I always do before sleeping (checking my phone). 40 minutes later my I was feeling a bit nauseous and I vomit. 60 minutes later I was feeling weak and my heartbeat was not okay, my heart was beating very slowly and my breath was short. About one and half hour my I was lightheaded. When I was nearly losing my consciousness a friend of mine went to my bedroom to ask me to lend my ozone charger she immediately realised that I was not sleeping and a ambulance. I think because of her I'm here.


So it sounds crazy to say that, I'm really happy because I have a method that truly works. To ctb with SN you don't need too much. Just water and SN! Last week, I bought both SN and Sodium Cyanide, two good options to ctb. I will ctb when I'm really ready to go and when I prove to myself that life is just a worthless game.


To be honest I'm between 55-60% of ending this game soon, I don't have a fixed date yet. I will definitely soon leave this existence because I'm really life is not meant to be difficult or complicated!



An interesting fact:
my hands and lips turned into bluish color in less than 30 minutes after I drank SN.

 

[before20]

Thank you for sharing, this information is invaluable both for a) how SN feels and b) if an SN fail will leave you with long-term damage, which it hasn't seemed to.

I hope next time, things go more smoothly for you.

 

[Waiting for death]

Thank you for sharing, this information is invaluable both for a) how SN feels and b) if an SN fail will leave you with long-term damage, which it hasn't seemed to.

I hope next time, things go more smoothly for you.

I hope I will soon my friend, and thank you for the support !!!

 

[NitrogenAfternoon]

Your story honestly gives some peace of mind, but a bit of pause as well. So you didn't feel any "pain"? Just a bit nauseous? I have been trying to get everything together for this method myself. What makes me a bit hesitant now is that you seemed to be very aware of your slow heartbeat and the shortness of breath. Did you feel any panic upon seeing the blueish colour of your skin? I am hoping to be able to pass out before I notice some of these side effects.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Thank you for sharing!

 

[Waiting for death]

Your story honestly gives some peace of mind, but a bit of pause as well. So you didn't feel any "pain"? Just a bit nauseous? I have been trying to get everything together for this method myself. What makes me a bit hesitant now is that you seemed to be very aware of your slow heartbeat and the shortness of breath. Did you feel any panic upon seeing the blueish colour of your skin? I am hoping to be able to pass out before I notice some of these side effects.

I feel the panic when my hands and lips were blue. But I knew that it wasn't forever and soon it will be over. I'm happy because I don't need too much and also I don't need any protocol

 

[opheliaoveragain]

thanks for this. I hope the moral of the story here is clear — if you're confident in your source and tests, please don't test it by actually taking it unless it's protocol time. I understand why you did though OP. zero disrespect meant!! but esp in the US now is not the time for an ambulance you can avoid….

 

[Waiting for death]

thanks for this. I hope the moral of the story here is clear — if you're confident in your source and tests, please don't test it by actually taking it unless it's protocol time. I understand why you did though OP. zero disrespect meant!! but esp in the US now is not the time for an ambulance you can avoid….

I feel lucky to live in a country where there's no restrictions for ctb methods.

 

[ctemourge]

adding on to what another user said, when u felt a little panic due to the blueish coloration, do you think if you followed protocol and used a benzodiazepine/anti anxiety med it would have not been panic inducing at all? my biggest fear is : pain . anxiety. im nauseous almost everyday of my life so i can handle that. but the anxiety is what worries me.

 

[AuroraB]

how did you explain it all to the emergency medical people?

 

[ringo99]

Thank you for your explanation. It puts my mind a little bit more at ease knowing that if by some stroke of bad luck I manage to survive or am revived, there's a low chance of suffering permanent brain damage.

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

So without AE, you vomited and still could've possibly ctb? Even without the amount they say?

 

[danny10]

Thanks for sharing. Must have been a crazy experience.

 

[Waiting for death]

adding on to what another user said, when u felt a little panic due to the blueish coloration, do you think if you followed protocol and used a benzodiazepine/anti anxiety med it would have not been panic inducing at all? my biggest fear is : pain . anxiety. im nauseous almost everyday of my life so i can handle that. but the anxiety is what worries me.

No, I haven't followed any protocol, I haven't fasted prior this test.

Thanks for sharing. Must have been a crazy experience.

It really was crazy but I'm not regretted !!!

 

[SVEN]

Thanks for the info, appreciated.

 

[theolivanderroach]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm probably not going to have meto by the time I take SN so this is reassuring. From what I've read people throw up even with meto. But also a main function of meto is increased gastric emptying speed more so than as an antiemetic right.

Did you feel cold at all? And I'm surprised you had low HR I thought it was the opposite

 

[Waiting for death]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm probably not going to have meto by the time I take SN so this is reassuring. From what I've read people throw up even with meto. But also a main function of meto is increased gastric emptying speed more so than as an antiemetic right.

Did you feel cold at all? And I'm surprised you had low HR I thought it was the opposite

My stomach was not empty. I underestimated SN and it's really dangerous even without following any protocol or after a meal like in my case, you're still to die due to the lack of oxygen in your blood cells.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel relieved at having the option of the method, I wish you the best.

 

[AnotherSadDay]

Hi, I'm planning to use SN and I have some questions about your experience.
When you were experiencing the short breath, it was painful or it was something you could tolerate?

How conscious were you during that 1:30 before youre friend find you?

 

[Waiting for death]

I understand why you'd feel relieved at having the option of the method, I wish you the best.

I don't have any regrets of what I've done. I'm happy cause I have something to end all of this shit game called life.

Hi, I'm planning to use SN and I have some questions about your experience.
When you were experiencing the short breath, it was painful or it was something you could tolerate?

How conscious were you during that 1:30 before youre friend find you?

It was something I could tolerate. What scared me was my blue hands and my pale face.

 

[divinemistress36]

Did you take any benzos?

 

[Waiting for death]

Did you take any benzos?

No, nothing !!! Just some water and SN.

 

[AnotherSadDay]

It was something I could tolerate. What scared me was my blue hands and my pale face.

Thanks for your answer and I'm happy that you were saved.
One more question:
Were you really conscious all the time or you were fainting sometimes?
Sorry if my english is bad, but it's not my main language

 

[divinemistress36]

No, nothing !!! Just some water and SN.

Oh I bet that was scary

 

[Waiting for death]

Oh I bet that was scary

The scaries thing was to see my face turning pale and my fingers bluish. I heard some stranger sounds like machines while I was passing out, I guess it was because I was nearly unconscious.

 

[Valhala]

SN is an extremely powerful poison (for this reason its distribution is increasingly controlled) and one tablespoon would without a doubt kill you if help had not been called. It is very helpful that you shared your experience, it really sounds reassuring that you did not feel any great discomfort or pain.

 

[regular john]

does it make sense to put sn and water to small plastic containers, go to the woods where nobody will find you and drink both when in the woods so that nobody finds you. you can puke all night and nobody will find you

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

A caveat about this experience is that OP took a small dose of 1 tbsp which is about 14 g, and they're on the large side at 98 kg. The standard dose is 25 g, but at 100 kg bodyweight the PPE recommends 35 g.

Based on those numbers we can estimate they took 40-50% of the full dose. The effects experienced at 100% full dose will definitely be stronger, faster, and more side effects may appear.

Doses as low as 14 mg can certainly be fatal. The first PPH advised 15 g, and deaths have been reported from as little as 2 mg. Now the recommendations have been raised to 25 g / 35 g and so everyone will suffer a more unpleasant experience. In reality a bodyweight based dose is probably a better approach and would reduce suffering, but I don't think there's anyone around to do that except maybe Philip Nitschke.

 

[sonofsun]

thank you for sharing your experience but just one request please don't fuck around with SN unless you are ready to die following the proper procedure as it will lead to more mental stress and suffering