Anxieyote
Sobriety over everything else • 30 • Midwest
- Mar 24, 2021
- 445
I wasn't able to find comfort on this forum today. Not the fault of anyone here, I just wasn't able to overcome my social anxiety enough to ask for help.
Making a forum post is probably best for me in terms of being able to put all of my thoughts out in the open without feeling like I'm competing for anyone's attention. People can look at forum posts at their own leisure, and decide if they want to read them or not.
The reason I'm making this post right now is because I wanted to express an idea I had. It's not very original, but I couldn't really find the right context to share it. I'll just say it.
I really wish I was a fox who lived in a magical forest with his vegan fox friends (they don't eat other animals, because it's not nice), and we could frolic and play and jump around like idiots. The grass would be luminescent and always sparkly like in a Disney movie. And if I ever got scared or nervous, my fox friends would curl up into a ball and press their soft fur against my body until I was feeling ok again.
I think that's about all of it. I wasn't able to find comfort today, but the next best thing is imagining a comforting place or scenario.
I don't think today will be a good day, unfortunately. I have work in an hour and a half, and it's a 9-hour shift. I accepted a phone call from someone I cared about last night while I was drunk and delusional, and although I don't remember any of what I said, I do remember them sounding fearful and sad as they hung up the call. I'm too scared to inquire about what was said, or revisit the DM's we exchanged, because I don't think it will provide peace or comfort. I am desperate to forget about the entire exchange, which is why I am creating imaginary magical forests right now.
Making a forum post is probably best for me in terms of being able to put all of my thoughts out in the open without feeling like I'm competing for anyone's attention. People can look at forum posts at their own leisure, and decide if they want to read them or not.
The reason I'm making this post right now is because I wanted to express an idea I had. It's not very original, but I couldn't really find the right context to share it. I'll just say it.
I really wish I was a fox who lived in a magical forest with his vegan fox friends (they don't eat other animals, because it's not nice), and we could frolic and play and jump around like idiots. The grass would be luminescent and always sparkly like in a Disney movie. And if I ever got scared or nervous, my fox friends would curl up into a ball and press their soft fur against my body until I was feeling ok again.
I think that's about all of it. I wasn't able to find comfort today, but the next best thing is imagining a comforting place or scenario.
I don't think today will be a good day, unfortunately. I have work in an hour and a half, and it's a 9-hour shift. I accepted a phone call from someone I cared about last night while I was drunk and delusional, and although I don't remember any of what I said, I do remember them sounding fearful and sad as they hung up the call. I'm too scared to inquire about what was said, or revisit the DM's we exchanged, because I don't think it will provide peace or comfort. I am desperate to forget about the entire exchange, which is why I am creating imaginary magical forests right now.
