Discussion A good way to tell you want to die

[Taylor]

I never had much money in my life, but just checked my dad's account balances and found out he has a total of $170k and apparently is inheriting another $200k. Feeling how I feel, I felt really proud of my dad in that moment for sucking up the misery that is life and still managing to make that much money consistently and support me my whole life.

Anyway, that just got me thinking, with as shitty as my life circumstances are, if I had that amount of money, I'd still want to kill myself. It really is true what they say, how money doesn't buy happiness because hell, I could have 200M right now and still be miserable, and still want to die.

 

[reveriewong]

If you had that kind of money, maybe you would feel better, not because of the money in of itself, but because you'd find that you can put it to good use--such as donate it to charity, help to give people jobs, etc.

Just as you dad as supported you your whole life, you might use the money to support others where appropriate, while also nurturing your own life (and those around you).

Even without that kind of money, after honestly assessing your life, perhaps you could find some meaning in doing something good for others.

And to answer the question in your title: There is no good way to tell someone that you want to die. You just have to be direct and honest. That's the best way to approach it. People might not want to hear it, and they might not like it, but being truthful is the best way to go about anything.

 

[elizabeth.luck]

I always wonder if money would make me happy. I think I would have fun for a little while, stop working, go shopping, go to theme parks, etc. I think the novelty would wear off after a month or so after I remember how worthless I am.

 

[AhG]

i feel this on a deeper level.

 

[chrijo]

Money would temporarily solve my current problems. Then I would fall into the same pattern again and do the same shit to destroy my pointless life. Because it's just pointless, with or without money.

 

[Taylor]

I always wonder if money would make me happy. I think I would have fun for a little while, stop working, go shopping, go to theme parks, etc. I think the novelty would wear off after a month or so after I remember how worthless I am.

For me, my issues are primarily physical, being that nearly all of my joints are deteriorating at an early age and my shoulders and lower back are significantly damaged from the stress I put my body through over the years. Sure it's solvable, but the kicker is my mental health. That is completely unsolvable (believe me I've tried everything there is to offer). My mind is fried at this point and it leaves me feeling like I don't even belong here anymore, so obviously that negates any desire to repair my physical ailments and keep going, even if I had an unlimited income to do so. It's like I'm completely backed into a corner and just ready to give in now.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I never had much money in my life, but just checked my dad's account balances and found out he has a total of $170k and apparently is inheriting another $200k. Feeling how I feel, I felt really proud of my dad in that moment for sucking up the misery that is life and still managing to make that much money consistently and support me my whole life.

Anyway, that just got me thinking, with as shitty as my life circumstances are, if I had that amount of money, I'd still want to kill myself. It really is true what they say, how money doesn't buy happiness because hell, I could have 200M right now and still be miserable, and still want to die.

What started your mental problems to begin with?

 

[futur]

Anyway, that just got me thinking, with as shitty as my life circumstances are, if I had that amount of money, I'd still want to kill myself.

It is true for me. I moved from a shitty country to one of the best countries i can imagine and make more than enough money and i am still unhappy. First months, maybe a year after immigration i really liked my financial stability and independence. But than I become unhappy peace of shit again, even unhappier. From my small exprerience i can already tell that money most probably won't make you unhappy, since the basic life problems are solved with them. But a nice car, appartments or some other garbage can't make a person happy automatically. That is what i think.

 

[Nitromask]

Money would actually solve all my problems

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I often browse r/suicidewatch and apparently majority of people have problems that could be solved with money.
People who suffer from chronic pain, were abused or suffer from severe mental disorders are minority.
There's also suicidal lonely people but their issues often stem from low income too.
Corporate capitalism, inequality and lack of safely nets are killing people but society chooses to medicalize the problem and brush it under the rug, at least in the US.

 

[Gena]

I never had much money in my life, but just checked my dad's account balances and found out he has a total of $170k and apparently is inheriting another $200k. Feeling how I feel, I felt really proud of my dad in that moment for sucking up the misery that is life and still managing to make that much money consistently and support me my whole life.

Anyway, that just got me thinking, with as shitty as my life circumstances are, if I had that amount of money, I'd still want to kill myself. It really is true what they say, how money doesn't buy happiness because hell, I could have 200M right now and still be miserable, and still want to die.

Me too

 

[Taylor]

What started your mental problems to begin with?

It happened after I first got injured and went through a couple of (awful) shoulder surgeries. I'm a naturally sensitive person so when that happened I was extremely vulnerable emotionally/mentally. Then sure enough like a switch, I developed some really strange specific social phobias and constant intrusive thoughts (OCD) about it, that just got worse and worse to where I'm here now. Trapped in my mind basically.

Money would actually solve all my problems

Then I wouldn't write yourself off so soon man, honestly I don't think financial problems are a valid enough reason to ctb. You still have a chance to turn things around and be happy again.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

For me, my issues are primarily physical, being that nearly all of my joints are deteriorating at an early age and my shoulders and lower back are significantly damaged from the stress I put my body through over the years. Sure it's solvable, but the kicker is my mental health. That is completely unsolvable (believe me I've tried everything there is to offer). My mind is fried at this point and it leaves me feeling like I don't even belong here anymore, so obviously that negates any desire to repair my physical ailments and keep going, even if I had an unlimited income to do so. It's like I'm completely backed into a corner and just ready to give in now.

I agree. When you're in BOTH constant physical pain and emotional pain, it can be a no-win situation. I got into a car accident 4 years back. I was in a two-seater that was crushed between two giant SUVs on the highway (they were unscathed). My car crumpled like a dried leaf. Somehow, I walked out of the wreck. But my back feels like it's full of ground glass and my knees feel like they belong to an arthritic 100-year old. I think you know what I'm talking about. The physical pain has very, very much contributed to my worsening depression. Like you said, "I'm completely backed into a corner and just ready to give in now."

Money would actually solve all my problems

I can totally believe that.

 

[Apollo D. Ryker]

I feel like if I was given that money now, I'd still want to die. But if I had grown up with money, and had managed to make my own, I imagine I'd be a completely different human being. Dare I submit... Normal.

 

[bigj75]

True. If money isn't enough to keep you from ctb'ing then nothing will.

 

[Taylor]

I agree. When you're in BOTH constant physical pain and emotional pain, it can be a no-win situation. I got into a car accident 4 years back. I was in a two-seater that was crushed between two giant SUVs on the highway (they were unscathed). My car crumpled like a dried leaf. Somehow, I walked out of the wreck. But my back feels like it's full of ground glass and my knees feel like they belong to an arthritic 100-year old. I think you know what I'm talking about. The physical pain has very, very much contributed to my worsening depression. Like you said, "I'm completely backed into a corner and just ready to give in now."


I can totally believe that.

Oh my God, I'm so sorry to hear that! You're incredibly lucky to be alive, that could've been much, much worse. You're one of the most like minded individuals I've met on here when it comes to understanding how chronic physical pain wears down your emotional and mental state as well. At least I'm not alone in that aspect! I know exactly what you're talking about, even when I have my moments of, "I'm going to get back in school and become a neuroscientist and erase the memory of ever having any mental health issue!" I always come back to the fact that it feels like I'm living in the body of an 80 year old, and just cannot go any further physically. I'm just at my limit, and would like to be done now.

I feel like if I was given that money now, I'd still want to die. But if I had grown up with money, and had managed to make my own, I imagine I'd be a completely different human being. Dare I submit... Normal.

Who knows, nothing is certain in this life, in the sense that you never know what you're going to get. I guess that's why they call it the journey of life. One thing I know for certain though, is that in the end, sooner or later, no one gets out alive.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Money is worthless. There isn't shit worth buying.

I spent all evening just wanting to buy a shirt to wear to work. Had to go to 3 stores and choke back vomit to finally pick one. They all suck. I have to wear old clothes, because the new ones are so shitty. They look like shit, feel like shit, probably even smell like shit. I hate them.

 

[Broken Widow]

I am finding out for myself that I know I want to die, not just because of extreme depression, but I'm just tired. Every fucking thing is a colossal chore. Life is full of nothing but hassles and obstacles, I never have a break or a period of calm. I'm unemployed, a struggling student, disabled, widowed, and in a lot of debt. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life, and I really can't deal with this for much longer. I am just so physically and emotionally exhausted. It is my fantasy to either not wake up one day, or to come down with a terminal illness. I'm just feeling done with everything.

 

[Apollo D. Ryker]

Who knows, nothing is certain in this life, in the sense that you never know what you're going to get. I guess that's why they call it the journey of life. One thing I know for certain though, is that in the end, sooner or later, no one gets out alive.

Even that isn't certain. We can be pretty sure, don't get me wrong. I subscribe to the belief that life is an interruption between two voids, but that's all it is, a belief. There's only one way to find out, as it is possible that where we are now, is just one stage of many. I just really hope that it isn't. I hope I don't have to do this again, or know that I have done it.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I feel like if I was given that money now, I'd still want to die. But if I had grown up with money, and had managed to make my own, I imagine I'd be a completely different human being. Dare I submit... Normal.

There's a lot of solid research literature from medicine to law to economics... that supports what you're saying. In the developing world, public health and medical authorities recognize poverty as "the single greatest threat to children's well-being." Not saying you were ever poor at all, but you're right that financial dearth can drastically alter children's life trajectories.

http://nccp.org/topics/childpoverty.html

 

[Apollo D. Ryker]

There's a lot of solid research literature from medicine to law to economics... that supports what you're saying. In the developing world, public health and medical authorities recognize poverty as "the single greatest threat to children's well-being." Not saying you were ever poor at all, but you're right that financial dearth can drastically alter children's life trajectories.

http://nccp.org/topics/childpoverty.html

It's okay, you can say I was poor. ^_^ I was and am. That would be a lot more funny to me if it didn't hurt so much. I'm going to go cry some more into a towel because tissues are too expensive, and I don't have the Benjamins that Woody Harrelson has.

As for thre research I've read some articles about it also. It's horrible to think that a man made concept like the monetary system has such power over the trajectories of lives. Money is more valuable than most people it seems. Or maybe it's that the people with money are the most valuable? Tough to know when you are of none yourself.

 

[Taylor]

I am finding out for myself that I know I want to die, not just because of extreme depression, but I'm just tired. Every fucking thing is a colossal chore. Life is full of nothing but hassles and obstacles, I never have a break or a period of calm. I'm unemployed, a struggling student, disabled, widowed, and in a lot of debt. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life, and I really can't deal with this for much longer. I am just so physically and emotionally exhausted. It is my fantasy to either not wake up one day, or to come down with a terminal illness. I'm just feeling done with everything.

I have this same exact overall feeling as well. Like I'm so tired of just being a person and can't keep up with the every day tasks of living anymore, nor do I have the desire to. When I was younger it was like 24 hrs felt more than enough time in a day, now it feels like it should be 72 hrs per day or something. Time just flies by now as I'm trapped physically and mentally, just aimlessly going about life. The last four years felt like maybe 1 year to me, it's crazy.

Even that isn't certain. We can be pretty sure, don't get me wrong. I subscribe to the belief that life is an interruption between two voids, but that's all it is, a belief. There's only one way to find out, as it is possible that where we are now, is just one stage of many. I just really hope that it isn't. I hope I don't have to do this again, or know that I have done it.

I agree that I'd never want to come back here and do this again, but I don't exactly wish that there was nothing after this. I loved my life when I was happy, healthy, and just overall 100% pristine and sound. So the idea of being resurrected into a "new" immortal body that's the same as my old mortal one used to be, to live eternally in peace again, is something I would enjoy. That's why I'm a Christian and stay true to my faith. Even if it's not true, I'd rather take the chance that it is.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I am finding out for myself that I know I want to die, not just because of extreme depression, but I'm just tired. Every fucking thing is a colossal chore. Life is full of nothing but hassles and obstacles, I never have a break or a period of calm. I'm unemployed, a struggling student, disabled, widowed, and in a lot of debt. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life, and I really can't deal with this for much longer. I am just so physically and emotionally exhausted. It is my fantasy to either not wake up one day, or to come down with a terminal illness. I'm just feeling done with everything.

Yes, yes, yes, and yes!

 

[Final Escape]

I never had much money in my life, but just checked my dad's account balances and found out he has a total of $170k and apparently is inheriting another $200k. Feeling how I feel, I felt really proud of my dad in that moment for sucking up the misery that is life and still managing to make that much money consistently and support me my whole life.

Anyway, that just got me thinking, with as shitty as my life circumstances are, if I had that amount of money, I'd still want to kill myself. It really is true what they say, how money doesn't buy happiness because hell, I could have 200M right now and still be miserable, and still want to die.

God that's just heartbreaking :("

There's a lot of solid research literature from medicine to law to economics... that supports what you're saying. In the developing world, public health and medical authorities recognize poverty as "the single greatest threat to children's well-being." Not saying you were ever poor at all, but you're right that financial dearth can drastically alter children's life trajectories.

http://nccp.org/topics/childpoverty.html

Growing up in poverty with single mother definitely ruined my life trajectory I would say. Basically ended up struggling in all sorts of ways. I feel like I grew into a deviant because of abuse and virtually no parental investment. She might as well have gave me to child protective services because it had a similar effect as what happens to those kids. I know I'm an extreme case and some single mothers can manage better but many end up with messed up kids that grow up into messed up adults.

Money is worthless. There isn't shit worth buying.

I spent all evening just wanting to buy a shirt to wear to work. Had to go to 3 stores and choke back vomit to finally pick one. They all suck. I have to wear old clothes, because the new ones are so shitty. They look like shit, feel like shit, probably even smell like shit. I hate them.

I've run into this problem myself as of late. Really decent well fitting clothes too expensive. Or I just struggle to find things that are easy to wear and fit correctly. If u have a less common body type you're shit out of luck lol! I'm tall for a female.

 

[Kyrok]

As I see it, money makes lives easier, not happier. Unless your woes are essentially about debt or a lack of basic resources, money doesn't change how you feel about life.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Growing up in poverty with single mother definitely ruined my life trajectory I would say. Basically ended up struggling in all sorts of ways. I feel like I grew into a deviant because of abuse and virtually no parental investment. She might as well have gave me to child protective services because it had a similar effect as what happens to those kids. I know I'm an extreme case and some single mothers can manage better but many end up with messed up kids that grow up into messed up adults.

I realize it's one of the most hated opinions, but I feel forcing poverty--which just about NO adult who experiences it enjoys--onto innocent children is a form of child abuse. Especially considering the decades of solid international research we have showing the very negative physical, cognitive, and longterm psychosocial effects of growing up in poverty on children. Why should children suffer because their parents aren't prepared to care for them adequately? If it's hard to adopt because you have to demonstrate your suitability to be an adoptive parent, the criteria to nurture our own biological kids should be just as stringent. Sorry you've hurt due to your childhood experiences.

 

[Apollo D. Ryker]

I agree that I'd never want to come back here and do this again, but I don't exactly wish that there was nothing after this. I loved my life when I was happy, healthy, and just overall 100% pristine and sound. So the idea of being resurrected into a "new" immortal body that's the same as my old mortal one used to be, to live eternally in peace again, is something I would enjoy. That's why I'm a Christian and stay true to my faith. Even if it's not true, I'd rather take the chance that it is.

I haven't known happiness at any point in my life, at least nothing that was reciprocated by a woman. So you have knowledge I don't.

So how do you think you would feel if you were resurrected into a new body, but knew that you had been here? How do you think you would feel if you knew the pain of this existence?

Apropos your belief, are you staying true? Or are you just hedging your bets? Scriptures talk of his unwavering love for all.

"One of the last things Jesus did on Earth was, invite a prisoner to join him, in heaven. He loved that criminal. I say he loved that criminal as much as he loved anyone. Jesus knew in his heart, it takes a lot to love a sinner, but the sinner? Needs it all the more." - Harold Perrineau.

 

[DrownedOctopus]

I never had much money in my life, but just checked my dad's account balances and found out he has a total of $170k and apparently is inheriting another $200k. Feeling how I feel, I felt really proud of my dad in that moment for sucking up the misery that is life and still managing to make that much money consistently and support me my whole life.

Anyway, that just got me thinking, with as shitty as my life circumstances are, if I had that amount of money, I'd still want to kill myself. It really is true what they say, how money doesn't buy happiness because hell, I could have 200M right now and still be miserable, and still want to die.

I just had a conversation about that sort of. A "what if" scenario being offered a ridiculous amount of money or to die instantly.
Money changes nothing in your head, look at all the celebrities who killed themselves. A lot of them were kinda fucked in the head before they came into money, and having it didn't make things better.
too many people think "if only I had this" imo, and none of them realize you're going to be just as miserable with it than without. You'll just have a different set of miseries. A new thing to want for.
The grass is always greener.

 

[ForestLove]

Jus find life is pointless afterall.
We can't control the circumstances which is happening in our lives.
Life is suffering.
I jus wanna be a tree.

 

[Redt2go]

Jus find life is pointless afterall.
We can't control the circumstances which is happening in our lives.
Life is suffering.
I jus wanna be a tree.

Do you hope to be cremated and planted as a tree?