A friend sent me this after I confessed to him one bad night that I wanted to do CTB

[edu0z]

I was desperate and honestly just wanted to die... so I went to Telegram and told him everything I wanted to tell him. I told him how important he has been for me, and I said goodbye... it was silly, an emotional outburst, but at that moment I felt very very bad and I was not able to think about living another day.

Then he sent me this.


Traduction:
Control yourself once and for all.

And you get strong or you're going to fuck off.
You decide
Or you start crying in your shit or you get out of trouble.
If you need pills or treatment you take them
And if it is not necessary, you will do your part


I honestly don't know what to say... I shouldn't have told him all that goodbye shit but it's done. He is the only friend I have left, the only one who really cares about me. I don't want to disappoint him. I don't want to get dramatic but also don't want to promise him that I'm going to get out of this, because I don't know if I'm capable.

I just want to have a normal life... do what I love, take care of my family and friends... why does everything have to be so complicated?

 

[neitherherenorthere]

Telling someone how important they are to you is not a silly, emotional outburst. It's a heartfelt expression of gratitude and love, and the fact that he responded by telling you to "control yourself" is distressing and concerning.

How much does he know about how badly you feel? Has he been supportive in the past? I don't know anything about either of you or what your relationship is like, so I'm taking you at your word when you say he cares about you, but he's not acting like it. Sometimes people just say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but his response is just callous. (I apologize if I'm misreading the situation, or misunderstood what you posted. This is just my reaction based on the texts you posted, having no other context.)

You also don't need his approval, and you don't need to promise him anything.



I really, really wish I had an answer to your last question, I'm sorry.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So sorry. You deserved better from your friend. I wouldn't even bring it up again. I made the same mistake.
I won't talk about it anymore.
If I do end it, I don't want to be stopped.

 

[edu0z]

Telling someone how important they are to you is not a silly, emotional outburst. It's a heartfelt expression of gratitude and love, and the fact that he responded by telling you to "control yourself" is distressing and concerning.

How much does he know about how badly you feel? Has he been supportive in the past? I don't know anything about either of you or what your relationship is like, so I'm taking you at your word when you say he cares about you, but he's not acting like it. Sometimes people just say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but his response is just callous. (I apologize if I'm misreading the situation, or misunderstood what you posted. This is just my reaction based on the texts you posted, having no other context.)

You also don't need his approval, and you don't need to promise him anything.



I really, really wish I had an answer to your last question, I'm sorry.

He is my friend since I was in high school, telling him all the things I had inside about how much our relationship has brought me, the valuable memories I have thanks to him, and how I would like to be simply the friend he deserves.

He's always cared a lot about us, but I guess he's getting tired... everyone sooner or later gets tired of always dealing with the depressive and walks away. I don't want to be like that, I don't choose to be like that, but I don't know what to do...

I'm afraid that if I tell him "don't worry, I'm fine"... and then have another anxiety attack, then get tired for good and walk away forever. He is the only support I have left.

But sometimes I think, that if I consider myself a lost cause then I don't deserve to have friends... it's a bit selfish to form a bond with someone when in the end you're just going to end up hurting them.

I don't know... I can't think right now, too many ideas are going through my mind and I don't know how to interpret them.

Thank you very much for responding... Seriously.

So sorry. You deserved better from your friend. I wouldn't even bring it up again. I made the same mistake.
I won't talk about it anymore.
If I do end it, I don't want to be stopped.

thanks

 

[neitherherenorthere]

He is my friend since I was in high school, telling him all the things I had inside about how much our relationship has brought me, the valuable memories I have thanks to him, and how I would like to be simply the friend he deserves.

He's always cared a lot about us, but I guess he's getting tired... everyone sooner or later gets tired of always dealing with the depressive and walks away. I don't want to be like that, I don't choose to be like that, but I don't know what to do...

I'm afraid that if I tell him "don't worry, I'm fine"... and then have another anxiety attack, then get tired for good and walk away forever. He is the only support I have left.

But sometimes I think, that if I consider myself a lost cause then I don't deserve to have friends... it's a bit selfish to form a bond with someone when in the end you're just going to end up hurting them.

I don't know... I can't think right now, too many ideas are going through my mind and I don't know how to interpret them.

First, I want to apologize if I sounded harsh in my previous post. That wasn't the tone I meant to have.

I completely understand where you're coming from on all of this. Feeling like you're not good enough for someone is so hard, especially when you desperately need that person in your life. Ultimately though I don't think friendship is about deserving someone or proving you're good enough. If someone has been your friend for such a long time, that means they like you and care about you. (That's easier for me to say than it is to believe, of course. Even I have a hard time internalizing this in spite of me telling this to you.)

I don't know if he'd actually walk away if you said you were fine and he found out you weren't, but I see where that fear comes from. If he asked how you're doing, do you think he'd be ok if you said something like "I'm having a hard time, but I'm trying to get support"? He might feel better hearing that, plus you'd be telling the truth, since you're posting here and that in itself is a form of getting support.

Unfortunately it's true that sometimes people get overwhelmed from supporting a friend with depression for a long time. Based on what you've said, it seems like he cares but is trying to say he can't help you single-handedly. He's your friend and will continue to support you, but it's important to get professional help. Have you tried medication or therapy before? If it's available to you, having a therapist can help to take pressure off of your friend. Think of it as having an extra person to talk to.

You said yourself that you didn't choose to be depressed. It's not your fault. It's not selfish to bond with people, and you're not hurting people by relying on them for support. That's literally the definition of society--people being connected to each other and helping each other. We're social creatures. It's human nature. You're in a bad place, and it's only natural for you to seek help.

This is a complicated situation. You need support, but you don't want to push away the support that you have. This is such an emotional and intense time for you right now, it's totally understandable that you would have so many thoughts going through your head at once. Maybe take some time to gain some distance from it, and look into professional mental health services if you can find them.

 

[Everybody_yells]

Let me share with you a little something from my own experience.

I confided in one of my best friends (whom I have known since childhood), when I was feeling depressed and Suicidal. He was kind of the only person who did not judge me, but intently listened to what I said. Who did not put a uno reversal on my victim card like my mum did when I told her or even abonden me like my ex did.
So one who could say, he has been as much supportive as he could be. !

Recently I came to overhear twice that, behind my back he exclaimed to one of our mutual best friend, how its lack of discipline that brings such unnecessary thoughts in my head ! I only accidentally happened to hear that, otherwise I would have never known it. But hearing that made me shatter a bit. He always tells me to open up myself, not to be faking my emotions in front of him. But when I did, with my suicidal thoughts, he could not handle it seems.

My point is, you will need to weigh it out. Yes he hurt my feelings, maybe invalidate it unknowingly. But some people are like that. They may not be expressing it the way it conventionally should, to someone who is mentally unwell. But, I preferred to put the kindness he showed to me, before the possible mistake he did. I think this person you mentioned should also have considerably been helpful to you at one time or another.
Just let it slide. He might have stress of his own. Or he cannot fathom your feeling of misery and maybe seeing it as a child play. Nevertheless he is your friend. I am certain he wants to see a shine of smile back on your face !

So try not to overthink it. By doing so, trust me, you are doing the right thing. Its not worth the time for your depression to Further eat you up.

 

[Sherri]

As a Spanish speaker those words are very cold and mean, like he Was in a hurry and just wanted to get rid of you or something, we all lost so many friends. Me the most common is the drama queen. I just block and continue with my life. Besides my bf, the list of my previous friendships is almost close to none since my depression kicked in 5-6 years ago. It all starts with anything I, here for you , and another day you get something like that. I'm sorry, that's not a good friend. It's up to you to decide if you want to waste your time with someone who sends you a reply like that. A big hug.

 

[SnakeTeam93]

Man that translation was poetic in a strange way maybe he wanted to write you a ctb poem?

 

[whatevs]

As a Spanish speaker those words are very cold and mean, like he Was in a hurry and just wanted to get rid of you or something, we all lost so many friends. Me the most common is the drama queen. I just block and continue with my life. Besides my bf, the list of my previous friendships is almost close to none since my depression kicked in 5-6 years ago. It all starts with anything I, here for you , and another day you get something like that. I'm sorry, that's not a good friend. It's up to you to decide if you want to waste your time with someone who sends you a reply like that. A big hug.

RIP.

 

[Shu]

RIP.

Sherri died?

 

[whatevs]

Sherri died?

She died as a member of the forum lol. Banned and disgraced. She insulted the admin of the forum privately and publicly and then people claimed she was a man and some other (to me) nonsense. Her last post was about wanting to shut down the forum. Quite bizarre after 13800 messages posted in here.

 

[Shu]

She died as a member of the forum lol. Banned and disgraced. She insulted the admin of the forum privately and publicly and then people claimed she was a man and some other (to me) nonsense. Her last post was about wanting to shut down the forum. Quite bizarre after 12000 messages posted in here

Oh yah I saw that

 

[Eternally Dottie]

She died as a member of the forum lol. Banned and disgraced. She insulted the admin of the forum privately and publicly and then people claimed she was a man and some other (to me) nonsense. Her last post was about wanting to shut down the forum. Quite bizarre after 13800 messages posted in here.

I also cannot understand how she could keep it together snd be so supportive to others for that long and then totally lose the plot. Her messages to Rain were awful and unforgivable but it was almost as if someone had taken over her account. Who knows

 

[Panna]

I also cannot understand how she could keep it together snd be so supportive to others for that long and then totally lose the plot. Her messages to Rain were awful and unforgivable but it was almost as if someone had taken over her account. Who knows

Being the leader of the site means being mature enough to look past criticisms for the sake of the site. Minus the piece where sherri threatened the safety of the site, i'd say rain overreacted and showed why rain might not have been the best choice, and why lots of users wish marquis hadn't left.

 

[Eternally Dottie]

Being the leader of the site means being mature enough to look past criticisms for the sake of the site. Minus the piece where sherri threatened the safety of the site, i'd say rain overreacted and showed why rain might not have been the best choice, and why lots of users wish marquis hadn't left.

I liked Sherri a lot and think she was very supportive and a great SS member but there was no going back from what she said to @RainAndSadness. It was uncalled for and was totally homo/trans phobic. I don't think there was any option other than to ban her based on what she said as it was so offensive. I just wonder whether it was actually Sherri or someone else using her account as it was so out of character for her. Anyway - Marquis obviously felt he couldn't stay once he was exposed by NYT sadly. I think @RainAndSadness has been great for SS and tries to always be fair. I know I'm not a long-standing member but have lurked for the past couple of years so have seen lots of changes and people come and go. Just my opinion

 

[whatevs]

I'm glad someone said the truth about Sherri, in my opinion all these people piling up in the user thread to shit on her are in the wrong or just looking to make sure they say their piece and look good. And it's concerning that people can switch like that because you made a mistake or throw a tantrum.

And even if she deserved banning... It's one thing to feel disgusted by ONE day of immoral insults about personal affairs which the admin decides if should be eligible for banning and another to pretend the 3 or whatever years a user was mostly supportive and a positive influence in the forum never happened.

 

[Cathy Ames]

I just want to have a normal life... do what I love, take care of my family and friends... why does everything have to be so complicated?

I feel like this, too.

I'm seeing you wrote this over a month ago. How are you doing now? Any better?

 

[edu0z]

I feel like this, too.

I'm seeing you wrote this over a month ago. How are you doing now? Any better?

Yes, I think I'm starting to move forward in my life... thanks for asking, how are you?