Venting A Family Member Threw Out My Powdered Nembutal

[GeorgeJL]

I had brought a 25 gram bottle of nembutal from Johnson before he stopped selling in China. I had it in the fridge in a drawer where only my stuff is at. I told my brother I had it months ago. He respects my desire for a peaceful death, but he thinks that I am crazy doing this when I'm only 37 years old. He knows I am not suicidal. The only other person that might have done anything with it is my mom, as she routinely cleans out the fridge. My brother says he didn't do anything with it. My mom says she always leaves my stuff alone. The bottle was marked "do not consume!!!" Only my brother knew what it was. But both of them including my whole family and friends know that I plan on ending my life at the end of my life in a peaceful manner, and that I am not suicidal.

This is my plan. I will tell my mom and brother that they should pay for a new dose of nembutal from China once it becomes available otherwise I will buy a much more risky method which is the cogen with CO Carbon Monoxide. Rescuers are at risk helping anyone that exited with this method. I really hate having to do this. It makes me look like a real jackass, but at the same time they need to respect my choice. (Note my brother makes very good money so that isn't an issue for him.) Also note that I am not choosing CO because it's a bad method for resuers, but because it's cheap, easy, and is relatively peaceful.

If any of you have a better idea of how to deal with this then please let me know.

 

[Darkhaven]

"pay for a new dose of nembutal from China once it becomes available" You re giving me hope again! Hah

 

[omoidarui]

Are you asking them to pay because you can't afford a new dose, or because you would just prefer them to bear the expense of their mistake?

I'm so sorry, that must be very frustrating.

 

[Life+me=error]

I wouldn't worry too much. You will probably CTB in 30 years or so. You good plenty of time to get N from somewhere. And I think by then, laws on assisted dying suicide will be more lax. Old age might be reason enough to get approved for euthanasia.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I would be fuming mad if that happened to me especially if it was powdered which is more valuable and difficult to obtain N. I envy those that can use the gold standard of CTB because I have too much GABA-B tolerance to be able to go that route.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

you store your nembutal in a fridge that is used by other people?

 

[GeorgeJL]

you store your nembutal in a fridge that is used by other people?

Yes it's the only fridge in the home. That is where your suppose to store it for long term. Besides it was in my drawer. The whole drawer is mine.

Are you asking them to pay because you can't afford a new dose, or because you would just prefer them to bear the expense of their mistake?

I'm so sorry, that must be very frustrating.

Both the cost and for respect of my choice.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Another option perhaps is to convert As nembutal into a powder which can be stored for decades which is what I want. But I am not sure if this can be done.

 

[calendulo]

I have had luck with you, I understand perfectly your english. Thanks in advance.

I do not know what I can say. Your experience is awesome. A bottle in the fridge with a label what say "do not consume", everything is so natural or you do it on this way, so easily. I love how you are treating with death.

I can not give you any advice, just wish you best luck in this issue. If that was happening to me, really I would not know what to do.

Congratulations for experience and I am sorry about my poorly contribution.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Wow, man, I can't even imagine how frustrating that is. If that happened to me I'd go into a killing spree never seen before. You are totally right to make them pay for a new dose of N, as what they did was totally unacceptable. I hope you're able to get your hands on N again.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Wow, man, I can't even imagine how frustrating that is. If that happened to me I'd go into a killing spree never seen before. You are totally right to make them pay for a new dose of N, as what they did was totally unacceptable. I hope you're able to get your hands on N again.

Killing spree? Really? My dignity is important, but not at the expense of others dignity like that.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Killing spree? Really? My dignity is important, but not at the expense of others dignity like that.

It was an exaggeration/joke, though someone would definitely be punched in the face if that happened with me.

 

[GeorgeJL]

It was an exaggeration/joke, though someone would definitely be punched in the face if that happened with me.

I have literally ran across people on suicide forums that like the idea of going on a shooting spree.


And I would never punch my brother in the face, I love him to death. We are not talking about a random stranger. Besides it might have been my mom on accident.

 

[Jean Améry]

That sucks. Your anger are frustration are quite understandable. Especially given the difficulty of acquiring N and the fairly high cost. Plus nobody should touch others' stuff period.

Of course I don't know your family but don't you think they might become upset when you insist they pay for the lost nembutal? It's an illegal substance so they could give you grief over it when you buy a new batch.

Assuming you have your own room(s) that is/are only accesible to you I'd suggest buying a small fridge for yourself to avoid such unpleasant situations in the future.

 

[Soul]

Damb, @GeorgeJL - your rational and organized approach to this is so central to your demeanor on this forum that this incident is like some kind of identity theft. I'm very sorry this happened to you.

If someone I love breaks or loses something irreplaceable and violates my privacy and trust at the same time I let them know it matters to me. I'd probably have them buy me the refrigerator that @Jean Améry suggests. One with a lock.

 

[DeathImminent]

maybe your unconscious mind threw the N to the trash bin

 

[Berlin76]

I had brought a 25 gram bottle of nembutal from Johnson before he stopped selling in China. I had it in the fridge in a drawer where only my stuff is at. I told my brother I had it months ago. He respects my desire for a peaceful death, but he thinks that I am crazy doing this when I'm only 37 years old. He knows I am not suicidal. The only other person that might have done anything with it is my mom, as she routinely cleans out the fridge. My brother says he didn't do anything with it. My mom says she always leaves my stuff alone. The bottle was marked "do not consume!!!" Only my brother knew what it was. But both of them including my whole family and friends know that I plan on ending my life at the end of my life in a peaceful manner, and that I am not suicidal.

This is my plan. I will tell my mom and brother that they should pay for a new dose of nembutal from China once it becomes available otherwise I will buy a much more risky method which is the cogen with CO Carbon Monoxide. Rescuers are at risk helping anyone that exited with this method. I really hate having to do this. It makes me look like a real jackass, but at the same time they need to respect my choice. (Note my brother makes very good money so that isn't an issue for him.) Also note that I am not choosing CO because it's a bad method for resuers, but because it's cheap, easy, and is relatively peaceful.

If any of you have a better idea of how to deal with this then please let me know.

That sucks man.
You really had good stuff there.
Why not buy new at the new supplier in China?

 

[angie]

I have literally ran across people on suicide forums that like the idea of going on a shooting spree.


And I would never punch my brother in the face, I love him to death. We are not talking about a random stranger. Besides it might have been my mom on accident.

Is there even going to be a new supplier of the powder !!!!!!

Is there even going to be a new supplier of the powder !!!!!!

how do you know what you had from johnsson was real ? thats what worries me about the powder anyway .

 

[GeorgeJL]

Is there even going to be a new supplier of the powder !!!!!!

how do you know what you had from johnsson was real ? thats what worries me about the powder anyway .

I just found out that there is a supplier of powder I think in China again. I will post a screen shot of it soon in the resources section.

 

[Yaalya]

That sucks man.
You really had good stuff there.
Why not buy new at the new supplier in China?

what a new seller? is he in the pph? have already successfully ordered people from him?

 

[painbegone]

Sorry about your situation George, that sucks.

I keep hearing about this new source in China mentioned, but I can't seem to find out any info on it. Would you mind posting here if you find it?

 

[Throwaway9787]

Damn that sucks man

 

[TAW122]

Ugh, that really sucks @GeorgeJL and I'm sorry to hear about that. I totally understand you wanting them to pay for the cost of replacing powdered N that you got from China, especially the difficulty of acquiring such a substance and also to get them to respect your dignity and choice. As for me, I have a firearm (legally purchased) for CTB usage if my life goes south and becomes untenable. While I may have an easier time with acquiring a firearm in the States, I can relate to having that exit and escape being a big relief. It has staved off my suicidality for a long time ever since I own one under my name.

 

[transgenderfailure]

What the hell...

"let's throw away a suicidal's peaceful way out and then see what will happen..." (????)

I'm sorry you have to go through this. This is not okay.

 

[oopswronglife]

Man that really sucks. Obviously one of them threw it out and is lying. I know you are angry and want them to pay for it literally and figuratively but a hard truth is as much as we may want someone to "respect our choice"...people who don't get it will not. Telling anyone who isn't "one of us" is ALWAYS a bad idea unless you WANT intervention...and even someone being suicidal themselves doesn't obviate that so really the only smart rule is never tell ANYONE what you have. So my advice is, if you must replace it, is to do it yourself when you can and quietly. It sucks...its not fair...but its the practical reality. Don't give people a chance to meddle unless you want them to...because they will. You can't fix this. It's not your fault. All you can do is learn the lesson for next time.

 

[angie]

I just found out that there is a supplier of powder I think in China again. I will post a screen shot of it soon in the resources section.

will you pm me the new source when you get it ? where is the resources section " how do i find it ?