Venting A door just been opened for me and I’m scared to go out

[alexK]

Yesterday I got an email from a job I applied to. They're asking me to send my qualifications and the CV (again). I got so excited since I've veen applying everywhere to no avail. I graduated uni on 2017 and been unemployed and useless ever since. I cried when I got the email cus it's a great job opportunity that doesn't come along easily. So I'm really surprised they even considered someone like me with no experience at all. Then my anxiety started to kick in and all kinda of scary thoughts about things they might go wrong while in an interview and such. So I'm scared I don't think I'm good enough or have the social skills that could convince them to hire me. They probably chose me cus my English score at Ilets is good since it's not the native language around here. So I'm freaking out I couldn't sleep or eat. I've been in bed all day scared and confused. I'm thinking to just ignore it all and don't embarrass myself and try. I really need the job and for the first time in years I felt like there's something for me in life. But at the same time I don't wanna put in the time and effort only for them to choose someone else. I don't think I can handle the embarrassment and the disappointment. I don't know what to do. Any advice?

 

[Brink]

Hi alexK, thanks for sharing. Firstly, well done on getting to the next stage - that's an achievement in itself as you said you've been idle for some time. Cut yourself some slack, you've done well so far! I know anxiety isn't easy to navigate. Are you on any meds at all? Just big yourself up and be as confident as you can be. If you can't do something - lie and learn it quick. It's all a game really and most jobs are just looking for confidence and the right cultural fit, so if you don't get the job then it might not be because you're 'not good enough'. Also, if you don't get to the next stage you can always ask for post-interview feedback to see what your strengths are in the context of the role and what you may need to work on. Best of luck. X

 

[alexK]

Hi thanks for replying it really means a lot to me that you even took the time to read all that. No I'm not on meds unfortunately mental health issues around here are taboo and a disgrace. You wouldn't even find a solid reliable facility if you tried. All are Stone Age asylum like. So I'm not even considering getting a professional help while I'm here. I have plans of actually migrating to a more civilized country but that's just another different story. My most biggest fear is embarrassment my self esteem at its lowest. I don't wanna say something stupid. I've been to a job interview where the interviewer straight up laughed at me in my face with his colleague so that still haunts me tbh. I remember wanting the earth to shatter a hole and swallow me.

 

[Brink]

No worries at all. Sorry to hear that! Where are you from? Tbh mental ill health is subjective and there's lots of different professional opinions any way. Medication and an official label often helps people but it sometimes doesn't. What a horrible experience with that job interview... *hugs*... I see it as their loss! Who would want to work for a company that treats people like that? Best of luck with the interview and let me know how it goes.

 

[alexK]

Yeah now in retrospect I don't think I'd ever be able to work for them either the vibe was just too toxic for me. It was a hospital by the way not a company. My major's in the health field. I'd rather not discuss the country I'm from for now. I'm ashamed. even anonymously I can't bring myself to mention it. But it's considered one of the richest countries unfortunately. Anyway yeah I'm still undecided whether to proceed with the job bs or not. But I'll definitely tell you how it goes when I do. Thank you.