Hysteria
Crimson
- Jan 8, 2024
- 53
It pains me deeply to write this. I've let you down. I promised to share the outcome of my CTB attempt, but here I am – it failed, and in many ways, so did I.
In January 2024, I tried Night Night, hoping it would end everything. Instead, I found myself barely conscious, shaking and nauseous. In that state, I answered a call from my partner. Desperate and defeated, I let her convince me to seek help. I checked myself into the psych ward.
The psych ward was a mixed bag. I found a strange peace in the medications they gave me, which helped me through opioid withdrawal. I never thought I'd survive that, but somehow, I did. The journey wasn't easy – the injections brought no comfort, only calmness as I endured. Yet, the psych ward saved me in ways I hadn't expected.
After three months, they recommended drug rehab. Grateful to be free of my opioid dependence, I agreed. Rehab, however, was an entirely different ordeal. Five months of no music, no movies, no privacy – just work I despised and moments of abuse. It was unbearable, so I left.
I only wish living life could be as simple. But for now, I'm still here, with you. If you've thought of me, thank you.
Regards,
Hysteria
In January 2024, I tried Night Night, hoping it would end everything. Instead, I found myself barely conscious, shaking and nauseous. In that state, I answered a call from my partner. Desperate and defeated, I let her convince me to seek help. I checked myself into the psych ward.
The psych ward was a mixed bag. I found a strange peace in the medications they gave me, which helped me through opioid withdrawal. I never thought I'd survive that, but somehow, I did. The journey wasn't easy – the injections brought no comfort, only calmness as I endured. Yet, the psych ward saved me in ways I hadn't expected.
After three months, they recommended drug rehab. Grateful to be free of my opioid dependence, I agreed. Rehab, however, was an entirely different ordeal. Five months of no music, no movies, no privacy – just work I despised and moments of abuse. It was unbearable, so I left.
I only wish living life could be as simple. But for now, I'm still here, with you. If you've thought of me, thank you.
Regards,
Hysteria