LilKSA
Member
- Sep 28, 2019
- 6
So 21 M. My main problem is I'm a sex addict. I'll go through it here but if you want the full story look at my only other post through my profile
I've basically done every other thing you can do to try to recover (self-help, therapy, having a balanced life, lying to get into a drug rehab, 12 steps, smart recovery, mental health diagnosis) so please trust me when I say I'm out of options. Seriously I've had 6 years of fighting this thing tooth and claw
The only option I can see is a Sex Addiction specific rehab which cost 15,000. I don't have a job. My parents can't pay for it.
Before I go forward just want to put the fact forward that I don't really hate myself or want to kill myself, kind of being forced to honestly. I would rather recover but there's no way I stop unless I'm given basically the best help that's out there
4 options
1. Ride it out. I'm dipping nicotine daily, not taking care of myself and slowly losing my sanity from the stress / hopelessness. I've felt heart murmurs. My teeth are about to start falling out so 30% chance I get cancer at this point. Sooner or later my psyche will give out (it has before) and I'll be able to kill myself. The good. I get to live a little longer and maybe god intervened. The bad I hurt my parents even more as they continue to watch me come undone
2. Illegal. So yeah I am this low, rob a bank, sell drugs, steal, I'm there and I sadly have connections from the rehabs I went too.
Good. I'll probably get the money. Bad I probably will never recover from having to hurt people and would relapse anyway from the guilt. My psych is far enough gone that I'm almost borderline sociopath but there's still enough empathy and I don't really want to hurt people
3. Chemical castration or mutilation.
Yes I'm also here the only problem is there's a high chance chemical castration would be absolute and idk if life would be worth living with all the permanent effects it would have on my body.
4. Suicide plain and simple right now. It would be by pills the only problem is I really don't think I'm brave enough to do it. There's only been 1 situation in my life where I was actually so far gone that I could do it
I've already thought of fundraising and all that jazz and the honest to God truth is no one in my community or anyone in the global community really gives a fuck about a 21 year old male with a sex addiction to help.
I'm basically fucked anyway I go so hard decisions to make.
I've basically done every other thing you can do to try to recover (self-help, therapy, having a balanced life, lying to get into a drug rehab, 12 steps, smart recovery, mental health diagnosis) so please trust me when I say I'm out of options. Seriously I've had 6 years of fighting this thing tooth and claw
The only option I can see is a Sex Addiction specific rehab which cost 15,000. I don't have a job. My parents can't pay for it.
Before I go forward just want to put the fact forward that I don't really hate myself or want to kill myself, kind of being forced to honestly. I would rather recover but there's no way I stop unless I'm given basically the best help that's out there
4 options
1. Ride it out. I'm dipping nicotine daily, not taking care of myself and slowly losing my sanity from the stress / hopelessness. I've felt heart murmurs. My teeth are about to start falling out so 30% chance I get cancer at this point. Sooner or later my psyche will give out (it has before) and I'll be able to kill myself. The good. I get to live a little longer and maybe god intervened. The bad I hurt my parents even more as they continue to watch me come undone
2. Illegal. So yeah I am this low, rob a bank, sell drugs, steal, I'm there and I sadly have connections from the rehabs I went too.
Good. I'll probably get the money. Bad I probably will never recover from having to hurt people and would relapse anyway from the guilt. My psych is far enough gone that I'm almost borderline sociopath but there's still enough empathy and I don't really want to hurt people
3. Chemical castration or mutilation.
Yes I'm also here the only problem is there's a high chance chemical castration would be absolute and idk if life would be worth living with all the permanent effects it would have on my body.
4. Suicide plain and simple right now. It would be by pills the only problem is I really don't think I'm brave enough to do it. There's only been 1 situation in my life where I was actually so far gone that I could do it
I've already thought of fundraising and all that jazz and the honest to God truth is no one in my community or anyone in the global community really gives a fuck about a 21 year old male with a sex addiction to help.
I'm basically fucked anyway I go so hard decisions to make.
