30 Red Flags of Manipulative People

[Fedrea]

30 Red Flags of Manipulative People

1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental.

www.psychopathfree.com

I found this list really useful and accurate.

Going by the premise that an amount of mental ill health is precipitated by abusive treatment from others. It was in my case.

To be fair, I think the list is more accurate for narcissists than sociopaths, and more accurate for romantic relationships than family, other interpersonal or work relationships.

"1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you're in constant competition with others for their attention and praise. They don't seem to care when you leave their side—they can just as easily move on to the next source of energy.

2. They withhold attention and undermine your self-esteem. After first hooking you with praise and flattery, they suddenly become reclusive and uninterested. They make you feel desperate & needy, ensuring that you are always the one to initiate contact or physical intimacy.

3. Plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems. They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. You come to rely on this over-communication as a source of confidence.

4. Quickly declares you their soul mate. And for some reason, you don't find it creepy. They tell you how much they have in common with you. On the first few dates, you do most of the talking and they just can't believe how perfect you are for them.

5. Compares you to everyone else in their life. Ex-lovers, friends, family members, and your eventual replacement. When idealizing, they make you feel special by telling you how much better you are than these people. When devaluing, they use these comparisons to hurt you.

6. Lies & excuses. There is always an excuse for everything, even things that don't require excusing. They make up lies faster than you can question them. They will always blame others—it is never their fault. They spend more time rationalizing their behavior than improving it.

7. No startle response. Total absence of anxiety, fear, and worry where there otherwise should be. They are also very easily bored by the familiar. You write this off as calm and cool, often feeling inferior and over-sensitive because you have normal human emotions.

8. Insults you with a condescending, joking sort of attitude. Smirks when you try to express yourself. Teasing becomes the primary mode of communication in your relationship. They subtly belittle your intelligence and achievements. If you point this out, they call you hypersensitive and crazy.

9. Uses social networking to provoke jealousy and rivalries while maintaining their cover of innocence. They once focused all of their attention on you, but now they post ambiguous videos and statuses to make you doubt your place in their heart. They bait previously denounced exes with old songs and inside jokes. They attend to new activity and ignores yours.

10. You find yourself playing detective. It's never happened in any other relationship, but suddenly you're scrolling back years on their Facebook page and albums. Same with their ex. You're seeking answers to a feeling you can't quite explain.

11. Surrounds themselves with former lovers and potential mates. Brags that their exes still want to sleep with him/her, but assures you there is nothing to worry about. These people make you feel jealous and give off the perception that your partner is in high-demand.

12. Hyperbolizes emotions while displaying none of them. They make passionate statements like "I've never felt so happy in my life" in a completely robotic voice. It sounds like an alien trying to explain how they imagine human emotions might feel.

13. You are the only one who sees their true colors. Others will think they're the nicest person in the world, even though they are used for money, resources, and attention. They won't care because he/she strategically distracts them with shallow praise (often done over social networking). Psychopaths are able to maintain superficial friendships far longer than their relationships.

14. Accuses you of emotions that they are intentionally provoking. They will call you jealous after blatantly flirting with their ex over social networking for the world to see. They will call you needy after intentionally ignoring you for three days straight.

15. Cannot put themselves in your shoes, or anyone else's for that matter. You find yourself desperately trying to explain how they might feel if you were treating them this way, and they just stare at you blankly.

16. You are engaged in constant conversations about their ex. You know them by name, and you know everything about their relationship—at least, your partner's version of events. The ex becomes one of the most frequent topics of discussion in your relationship.

17. You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown man/woman. Normal people understand the fundamental concepts of honesty and kindness. No adult should need to be told how they are making other people feel.

18. Focuses on your mistakes and ignores their own. If they're two hours late, don't forget that you were once five minutes late to your first date. If you point out their mistakes, they will always be quick to turn the conversation back on you.

19. Suddenly and completely bored by you. Gives you the silent treatment and becomes very annoyed that you seem to be interested in continuing the passionate relationship that they created. You are now a chore to them.

20. The ultimate hypocrite. They have extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration. After the idealization phase, they will give none of this back to you. They will cheat, lie, insult, and degrade. But you are expected to remain perfect.

21. Sometimes it seems as though they've forgotten who they're supposed to be around you. They adopt different personas for different people—transforming their entire personality to match various audiences. It's always very eerie when they slip and accidentally use the wrong mask for you. You will start to feel that their personality just doesn't seem to add up.

22. An unusual amount of "crazy" people in their past. Any ex-partner or friend who did not come crawling back to them will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear. They will speak about you the same way to their next target.

23. Flatters your deepest insecurities. If you're self-conscious about your looks, they'll call you the sexiest person in the world. If you've got a need to entertain, they'll say you're the funniest person they've ever known. They will also mirror your greatest fantasies, playing whatever role is necessary to win your heart.

24. Frequently comments about what you're wearing and how you look. They try to arrange you. You become obsessed with your appearance, noticing flaws that likely don't even exist. During and after the relationship, you will spend significantly more time in front of the mirror. (Thank you to our member, ckwanderlust, for these valuable insights).

25. You fear that any fight could be your last. Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially ones regarding their behavior. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise you know they'll lose interest in you.

26. Obsessed with humiliating successful, kind & cheerful people. Delighted by the idea of breaking up friendships and marriages. If you work hard to maintain interpersonal peace in your life, they will make it their mission to uproot all of it.

27. Gaslighting. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence when confronted with it. They will become angry if you attempt to disprove their delusions with facts.

28. They expect you to read their mind. If they stop communicating with you for several days, it's your fault for not knowing about the plans they never told you about. There will always be a self-victimizing excuse to go along with this.

29. Selfishness and a crippling thirst for attention. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. Their demand for adoration is insatiable. You thought you were the only one who could make them happy, but now you feel that anyone with a beating pulse could fit the role. However, the truth is: no one can fill the void of a psychopath's soul.

30. Your feelings. After a run-in with a psychopath, you will feel insane, exhausted, drained, shocked, suicidal, and empty. You will tear apart your entire life—spending money, ending friendships, and searching for some sort of reason behind it all. "

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Linking this post to the Manipulation Tactics thread!

In my own experience, I would say these are things someone new in one's life reveals and builds on. Such folks like to play these games for a long time, and a big part of it when they're cheaters is pitting people against each other. It's all about their amusement. Reading the list was like revisiting relationships with two exes, one who was a sociopath and one who was a narcissist. However, when I met my biological mother, who is extremely passive-aggressive, manipulative and charming, she "wooed" me. She compared me favorably against the children she had after me and raised, and my half-brother was like the ex mentioned in this list. She wasn't a full-on narc, but she played a lot of these games, gaslighted, and tried to get me to dress like her and live with her, and tons of blaming others with zero responsibility. I always felt a little yucky with her, there was always something going on in the background she wouldn't admit to, and it took 15 years to see past the charming facade and realize how she moves everyone in her life around like game pieces for their well-being but really for her own amusement and edification, and to make her look beneficient and wise.

 

[Fedrea]

Linking this post to the Manipulation Tactics thread!

In my own experience, I would say these are things someone new in one's life reveals and builds on. Such folks like to play these games for a long time, and a big part of it when they're cheaters is pitting people against each other. It's all about their amusement. Reading the list was like revisiting relationships with two exes, one who was a sociopath and one who was a narcissist. However, when I met my biological mother, who is extremely passive-aggressive, manipulative and charming, she "wooed" me. She compared me favorably against the children she had after me and raised, and my half-brother was like the ex mentioned in this list. She wasn't a full-on narc, but she played a lot of these games, gaslighted, and tried to get me to dress like her and live with her, and tons of blaming others with zero responsibility. I always felt a little yucky with her, there was always something going on in the background she wouldn't admit to, and it took 15 years to see past the charming facade and realize how she moves everyone in her life around like game pieces for their well-being but really for her own amusement and edification, and to make her look beneficient and wise.

Many thanks for your input and sorry for your experience. I imagine it is very difficult for people who have these people in their families.

Learning about these people, especially narcissists, has been a bit of a revelation for me. I think with full in sociopaths their behaviour is often obviously "different" and the lack of empathy more obvious, but with narcissist it's more subtle. I wrote a thread about narcissists and sociopaths before because it seemed so many people on the forum talked about them and I was amazed that the effect they had had on me when I really added it up. As one person said on a the thread, with narcissists it's like they all have a playbook, they all went to narcissist University in Narcville, often even using the same phrases

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/attracting-narcissists-sociopaths.43003/

 

[TheQ22]

My ex, to a "t"

 

[clayp]

Way too long to read. Tomorrow maybe lol

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Way too long to read. Tomorrow maybe lol

The number 30 wasn't a tip-off? lol

 

[clayp]

The number 30 wasn't a tip-off? lol

Well spotted lmaol

 

[BipolarGuy]

30 Red Flags of Manipulative People

1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental.

www.psychopathfree.com

I found this list really useful and accurate.

Going by the premise that an amount of mental ill health is precipitated by abusive treatment from others. It was in my case.

To be fair, I think the list is more accurate for narcissists than sociopaths, and more accurate for romantic relationships than family, other interpersonal or work relationships.

"1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you're in constant competition with others for their attention and praise. They don't seem to care when you leave their side—they can just as easily move on to the next source of energy.

2. They withhold attention and undermine your self-esteem. After first hooking you with praise and flattery, they suddenly become reclusive and uninterested. They make you feel desperate & needy, ensuring that you are always the one to initiate contact or physical intimacy.

3. Plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems. They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. You come to rely on this over-communication as a source of confidence.

4. Quickly declares you their soul mate. And for some reason, you don't find it creepy. They tell you how much they have in common with you. On the first few dates, you do most of the talking and they just can't believe how perfect you are for them.

5. Compares you to everyone else in their life. Ex-lovers, friends, family members, and your eventual replacement. When idealizing, they make you feel special by telling you how much better you are than these people. When devaluing, they use these comparisons to hurt you.

6. Lies & excuses. There is always an excuse for everything, even things that don't require excusing. They make up lies faster than you can question them. They will always blame others—it is never their fault. They spend more time rationalizing their behavior than improving it.

7. No startle response. Total absence of anxiety, fear, and worry where there otherwise should be. They are also very easily bored by the familiar. You write this off as calm and cool, often feeling inferior and over-sensitive because you have normal human emotions.

8. Insults you with a condescending, joking sort of attitude. Smirks when you try to express yourself. Teasing becomes the primary mode of communication in your relationship. They subtly belittle your intelligence and achievements. If you point this out, they call you hypersensitive and crazy.

9. Uses social networking to provoke jealousy and rivalries while maintaining their cover of innocence. They once focused all of their attention on you, but now they post ambiguous videos and statuses to make you doubt your place in their heart. They bait previously denounced exes with old songs and inside jokes. They attend to new activity and ignores yours.

10. You find yourself playing detective. It's never happened in any other relationship, but suddenly you're scrolling back years on their Facebook page and albums. Same with their ex. You're seeking answers to a feeling you can't quite explain.

11. Surrounds themselves with former lovers and potential mates. Brags that their exes still want to sleep with him/her, but assures you there is nothing to worry about. These people make you feel jealous and give off the perception that your partner is in high-demand.

12. Hyperbolizes emotions while displaying none of them. They make passionate statements like "I've never felt so happy in my life" in a completely robotic voice. It sounds like an alien trying to explain how they imagine human emotions might feel.

13. You are the only one who sees their true colors. Others will think they're the nicest person in the world, even though they are used for money, resources, and attention. They won't care because he/she strategically distracts them with shallow praise (often done over social networking). Psychopaths are able to maintain superficial friendships far longer than their relationships.

14. Accuses you of emotions that they are intentionally provoking. They will call you jealous after blatantly flirting with their ex over social networking for the world to see. They will call you needy after intentionally ignoring you for three days straight.

15. Cannot put themselves in your shoes, or anyone else's for that matter. You find yourself desperately trying to explain how they might feel if you were treating them this way, and they just stare at you blankly.

16. You are engaged in constant conversations about their ex. You know them by name, and you know everything about their relationship—at least, your partner's version of events. The ex becomes one of the most frequent topics of discussion in your relationship.

17. You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown man/woman. Normal people understand the fundamental concepts of honesty and kindness. No adult should need to be told how they are making other people feel.

18. Focuses on your mistakes and ignores their own. If they're two hours late, don't forget that you were once five minutes late to your first date. If you point out their mistakes, they will always be quick to turn the conversation back on you.

19. Suddenly and completely bored by you. Gives you the silent treatment and becomes very annoyed that you seem to be interested in continuing the passionate relationship that they created. You are now a chore to them.

20. The ultimate hypocrite. They have extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration. After the idealization phase, they will give none of this back to you. They will cheat, lie, insult, and degrade. But you are expected to remain perfect.

21. Sometimes it seems as though they've forgotten who they're supposed to be around you. They adopt different personas for different people—transforming their entire personality to match various audiences. It's always very eerie when they slip and accidentally use the wrong mask for you. You will start to feel that their personality just doesn't seem to add up.

22. An unusual amount of "crazy" people in their past. Any ex-partner or friend who did not come crawling back to them will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear. They will speak about you the same way to their next target.

23. Flatters your deepest insecurities. If you're self-conscious about your looks, they'll call you the sexiest person in the world. If you've got a need to entertain, they'll say you're the funniest person they've ever known. They will also mirror your greatest fantasies, playing whatever role is necessary to win your heart.

24. Frequently comments about what you're wearing and how you look. They try to arrange you. You become obsessed with your appearance, noticing flaws that likely don't even exist. During and after the relationship, you will spend significantly more time in front of the mirror. (Thank you to our member, ckwanderlust, for these valuable insights).

25. You fear that any fight could be your last. Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially ones regarding their behavior. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise you know they'll lose interest in you.

26. Obsessed with humiliating successful, kind & cheerful people. Delighted by the idea of breaking up friendships and marriages. If you work hard to maintain interpersonal peace in your life, they will make it their mission to uproot all of it.

27. Gaslighting. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence when confronted with it. They will become angry if you attempt to disprove their delusions with facts.

28. They expect you to read their mind. If they stop communicating with you for several days, it's your fault for not knowing about the plans they never told you about. There will always be a self-victimizing excuse to go along with this.

29. Selfishness and a crippling thirst for attention. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. Their demand for adoration is insatiable. You thought you were the only one who could make them happy, but now you feel that anyone with a beating pulse could fit the role. However, the truth is: no one can fill the void of a psychopath's soul.

30. Your feelings. After a run-in with a psychopath, you will feel insane, exhausted, drained, shocked, suicidal, and empty. You will tear apart your entire life—spending money, ending friendships, and searching for some sort of reason behind it all. "

Some of these remind me of my parents.

 

[noaccount]

# 7 and 13 just seem like quirks that are common in people w/ autism, ptsd, brain injury and all kinds of neurodivergence...

I hesitate to call anyone a psychopath sociopath or similar because people could have the same psychological leanings, but still have ethics where they choose to treat others with compassion and not manipulate them. It's enough, for me, to know that someone is cruel and should be cut out of my life... I don't need to psychologically profile them or figure out their deepest complexes or what's going on in their soul.

 

[onlyeverexisting]

I had someone I really care about tell me that they're a diagnosed sociopath. I'm really struggling with how to handle it, because I guess they can't *technically* help it (they can obviously help their behavior, but not the condition itself), but I'm still confused as to why a sociopath would tell me they're a sociopath unless they're just an edgelord... Wouldn't it make it harder for them to get what they want from me? Unless they calculated that I'd give them the benefit of the doubt, which is exactly what I'm doing right now. I wish I knew if I've been part of a game this whole time.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I had someone I really care about tell me that they're a diagnosed sociopath. I'm really struggling with how to handle it, because I guess they can't *technically* help it (they can obviously help their behavior, but not the condition itself), but I'm still confused as to why a sociopath would tell me they're a sociopath unless they're just an edgelord... Wouldn't it make it harder for them to get what they want from me? Unless they calculated that I'd give them the benefit of the doubt, which is exactly what I'm doing right now. I wish I knew if I've been part of a game this whole time.

I would ask them why they told me.

I had a customer once disclose to me he'd been diagnosed a sociopath in his late teens. He had to learn ethics, they didn't come to him naturally. I had offered him something extra and he said, "Don't, because I'll take advantage of you." I wasn't friends with him but I saw him often in his own work environment and once as my own customer and I never got a creepy or manipulative vibe off him, like he didn't play the little greenlighting mind games in conversations, but then again he wasn't targeting me.

As far as the person you know who disclosed, have you ever had red flags come up and then questioned your response to them? Do you ever feel confused, or get angry? Do you ever get the feeling you've had a boundary tested or crossed? I get that you're confused now, but before that.

 

[noaccount]

I would judge that person by their behavior just like I would judge anyone else. Are they considerate of you? Do they respect your boundaries?

If we know someone had a psychiatric diagnosis like that, that's all we know about them.


Everyone has to learn ethics, I think. Many people fail to or choose not to.

Think about how everyone in a capitalist and competitive society is encouraged to take advantage of others.
These things are normative, not something to scapegoat "deviants" for.

 

[Fedrea]

I would judge that person by their behavior just like I would judge anyone else. Are they considerate of you? Do they respect your boundaries?

If we know someone had a psychiatric diagnosis like that, that's all we know about them.


Everyone has to learn ethics, I think. Many people fail to or choose not to.

Think about how everyone in a capitalist and competitive society is encouraged to take advantage of others.
These things are normative, not something to scapegoat "deviants" for.

I don't agree. In my experience, there are people whose behaviour is so distinct, it is reasonable to classify it as narcissistic or sociopathic. Of course an amateur can never make a certain diagnosis, but once you understand how these types of people act, a lot more makes sense, if you have been so unfortunate as to encounter a number of them

 

[sufferingalways]

30 Red Flags of Manipulative People

1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental.

www.psychopathfree.com

I found this list really useful and accurate.

Going by the premise that an amount of mental ill health is precipitated by abusive treatment from others. It was in my case.

To be fair, I think the list is more accurate for narcissists than sociopaths, and more accurate for romantic relationships than family, other interpersonal or work relationships.

"1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you're in constant competition with others for their attention and praise. They don't seem to care when you leave their side—they can just as easily move on to the next source of energy.

2. They withhold attention and undermine your self-esteem. After first hooking you with praise and flattery, they suddenly become reclusive and uninterested. They make you feel desperate & needy, ensuring that you are always the one to initiate contact or physical intimacy.

3. Plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems. They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. You come to rely on this over-communication as a source of confidence.

4. Quickly declares you their soul mate. And for some reason, you don't find it creepy. They tell you how much they have in common with you. On the first few dates, you do most of the talking and they just can't believe how perfect you are for them.

5. Compares you to everyone else in their life. Ex-lovers, friends, family members, and your eventual replacement. When idealizing, they make you feel special by telling you how much better you are than these people. When devaluing, they use these comparisons to hurt you.

6. Lies & excuses. There is always an excuse for everything, even things that don't require excusing. They make up lies faster than you can question them. They will always blame others—it is never their fault. They spend more time rationalizing their behavior than improving it.

7. No startle response. Total absence of anxiety, fear, and worry where there otherwise should be. They are also very easily bored by the familiar. You write this off as calm and cool, often feeling inferior and over-sensitive because you have normal human emotions.

8. Insults you with a condescending, joking sort of attitude. Smirks when you try to express yourself. Teasing becomes the primary mode of communication in your relationship. They subtly belittle your intelligence and achievements. If you point this out, they call you hypersensitive and crazy.

9. Uses social networking to provoke jealousy and rivalries while maintaining their cover of innocence. They once focused all of their attention on you, but now they post ambiguous videos and statuses to make you doubt your place in their heart. They bait previously denounced exes with old songs and inside jokes. They attend to new activity and ignores yours.

10. You find yourself playing detective. It's never happened in any other relationship, but suddenly you're scrolling back years on their Facebook page and albums. Same with their ex. You're seeking answers to a feeling you can't quite explain.

11. Surrounds themselves with former lovers and potential mates. Brags that their exes still want to sleep with him/her, but assures you there is nothing to worry about. These people make you feel jealous and give off the perception that your partner is in high-demand.

12. Hyperbolizes emotions while displaying none of them. They make passionate statements like "I've never felt so happy in my life" in a completely robotic voice. It sounds like an alien trying to explain how they imagine human emotions might feel.

13. You are the only one who sees their true colors. Others will think they're the nicest person in the world, even though they are used for money, resources, and attention. They won't care because he/she strategically distracts them with shallow praise (often done over social networking). Psychopaths are able to maintain superficial friendships far longer than their relationships.

14. Accuses you of emotions that they are intentionally provoking. They will call you jealous after blatantly flirting with their ex over social networking for the world to see. They will call you needy after intentionally ignoring you for three days straight.

15. Cannot put themselves in your shoes, or anyone else's for that matter. You find yourself desperately trying to explain how they might feel if you were treating them this way, and they just stare at you blankly.

16. You are engaged in constant conversations about their ex. You know them by name, and you know everything about their relationship—at least, your partner's version of events. The ex becomes one of the most frequent topics of discussion in your relationship.

17. You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown man/woman. Normal people understand the fundamental concepts of honesty and kindness. No adult should need to be told how they are making other people feel.

18. Focuses on your mistakes and ignores their own. If they're two hours late, don't forget that you were once five minutes late to your first date. If you point out their mistakes, they will always be quick to turn the conversation back on you.

19. Suddenly and completely bored by you. Gives you the silent treatment and becomes very annoyed that you seem to be interested in continuing the passionate relationship that they created. You are now a chore to them.

20. The ultimate hypocrite. They have extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration. After the idealization phase, they will give none of this back to you. They will cheat, lie, insult, and degrade. But you are expected to remain perfect.

21. Sometimes it seems as though they've forgotten who they're supposed to be around you. They adopt different personas for different people—transforming their entire personality to match various audiences. It's always very eerie when they slip and accidentally use the wrong mask for you. You will start to feel that their personality just doesn't seem to add up.

22. An unusual amount of "crazy" people in their past. Any ex-partner or friend who did not come crawling back to them will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear. They will speak about you the same way to their next target.

23. Flatters your deepest insecurities. If you're self-conscious about your looks, they'll call you the sexiest person in the world. If you've got a need to entertain, they'll say you're the funniest person they've ever known. They will also mirror your greatest fantasies, playing whatever role is necessary to win your heart.

24. Frequently comments about what you're wearing and how you look. They try to arrange you. You become obsessed with your appearance, noticing flaws that likely don't even exist. During and after the relationship, you will spend significantly more time in front of the mirror. (Thank you to our member, ckwanderlust, for these valuable insights).

25. You fear that any fight could be your last. Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially ones regarding their behavior. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise you know they'll lose interest in you.

26. Obsessed with humiliating successful, kind & cheerful people. Delighted by the idea of breaking up friendships and marriages. If you work hard to maintain interpersonal peace in your life, they will make it their mission to uproot all of it.

27. Gaslighting. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence when confronted with it. They will become angry if you attempt to disprove their delusions with facts.

28. They expect you to read their mind. If they stop communicating with you for several days, it's your fault for not knowing about the plans they never told you about. There will always be a self-victimizing excuse to go along with this.

29. Selfishness and a crippling thirst for attention. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. Their demand for adoration is insatiable. You thought you were the only one who could make them happy, but now you feel that anyone with a beating pulse could fit the role. However, the truth is: no one can fill the void of a psychopath's soul.

30. Your feelings. After a run-in with a psychopath, you will feel insane, exhausted, drained, shocked, suicidal, and empty. You will tear apart your entire life—spending money, ending friendships, and searching for some sort of reason behind it all. "

Yes to 7, 12, 14, 17, 18, 20, 26, 27,



Hi, the numbers I listed are spot on for the council landlord. Anyone who wants a council property in the UK be aware, they like to abuse their residents and ignore the law. We have told the housing department that it is a criminal offence to discriminate against people with disabilities (EA2010) and also pointed out that tenancy states;



"the council has a duty to foster good relations between those who have protected characteristics and those who do not, " and that "this isn't happening because we are being treated inferior to our neighbours."



It fell on deaf ears and now I have an advocate who will help me write a letter to try to assert again, our rights as disabled residents.
The council are hated so much even independent trades people are aware "you have to take them to court to get them to do anything"

 

[noaccount]

Fedrea, even if you only call people those things based on their cruel or abusive behavior, many other people are called those things for being "deviants" without being abusive, or just for a psychologist's whim because they feel like it - we should never underestimate how much professional diagnosis is arbitrary and subjective.

I try to keep an eye out, for that kind of behavior from anyone, and it becomes more common as people become more powerful.

 

[Fedrea]

Fedrea, even if you only call people those things based on their cruel or abusive behavior, many other people are called those things for being "deviants" without being abusive, or just for a psychologist's whim because they feel like it - we should never underestimate how much professional diagnosis is arbitrary and subjective.

I try to keep an eye out, for that kind of behavior from anyone, and it becomes more common as people become more powerful.

I completely agree that most psychiatric diagnosis are subjective and can be inaccurate. In that I would include, even, things like borderline personality disorder. Most certainly depression. But in my experience, psychopathy/sociopathy and narcissistic personality disorder are real and are more clear cut. Despite that, I would also question just how often psychologists make the last three diagnoses, not often, I should imagine, because these people do not tend to present to psychiatric/psychological services. Because such people don't normally think they have a problem.

From what I've read, and I appreciate this is a subjective thing, that may be because things like depression and anxiety disorders are often reactions to circumstances, upbringings, life events. They can can change a lot. Whereas sociopathy, narcissistic personality disorder is the way the person is. Upbringing may have played a role, but not in a way that is now very amenable to treatment, and some of it is also innate. With other personalities disorders, like borderline personality disorder, my understanding is that there is at least some movement to argue that the Symptoms leading to the diagnosis is generally a response to trauma, and thus the permanent "labelling" of the person can be unfair. Others may find it a useful diagnosis, of course

Both sociopath/psychopaths (terms are used interchangeably), and people with narcissist personality disorder, have been shown to have differences in brain structure

Narcissists' Lack of Empathy Detected in Brain Scans

Individuals who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder have structural abnormalities in their cerebral cortex, according to a new study.

www.google.co.uk

Psychopaths' Brains Show Differences in Structure and Function - School of Medicine and Public Health

www.med.wisc.edu

 

[onlyeverexisting]

I would ask them why they told me.

I had a customer once disclose to me he'd been diagnosed a sociopath in his late teens. He had to learn ethics, they didn't come to him naturally. I had offered him something extra and he said, "Don't, because I'll take advantage of you." I wasn't friends with him but I saw him often in his own work environment and once as my own customer and I never got a creepy or manipulative vibe off him, like he didn't play the little greenlighting mind games in conversations, but then again he wasn't targeting me.

As far as the person you know who disclosed, have you ever had red flags come up and then questioned your response to them? Do you ever feel confused, or get angry? Do you ever get the feeling you've had a boundary tested or crossed? I get that you're confused now, but before that.

I have gotten a "vibe" before, but I don't know if that's reliable for me. It's difficult to tell, honestly. Mostly because I know I can be overly emotional and highly sensitive, and they're the exact opposite of that. We have a lot in common, but I think it's difficult for us to *really* understand each other, since we're wired so differently. We just seem to live in entirely different worlds almost, and I never know if I'm reading too much into things.

We've hooked up on and off for years, which complicates things, because I'm pretty sure I've always wanted more than they can reasonably provide. I don't blame them for not wanting to essentially take care of an insecure, emotional mess though. And that's not just self-deprecation, it lines up pretty closely with reality right now. I know it's exhausting on the receiving end. They've said pretty much that exact same thing to me that your customer did, verbatim- except about sex. They've said they didn't want to keep hooking up because they knew they could take advantage of me (which probably says more about my own nonexistent boundaries than anything), but we would hook up again awhile later. I mean, we're both human, (which was also their answer when I've asked about why it keeps happening) and I'm obviously just as much a part of this as they are, but it's definitely confusing. I'm not sure it's malicious though.

We haven't talked in awhile though, so it might've sorted itself out. We're probably a horrible match for each other, and it doesn't seem like that was ever on the table anyway.

 

[141592653]

Infact, it wasn't my girlfriend, but I think she checked up every before coming to world [ofc god has an inextricable administration with loads QCM asking for the same question]

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I have gotten a "vibe" before, but I don't know if that's reliable for me. It's difficult to tell, honestly. Mostly because I know I can be overly emotional and highly sensitive, and they're the exact opposite of that.

I really understand this. I've been through it so many times.

Every time I've gotten a vibe and questioned rather than honoring it, I've regretted it. It's not an emotion, it's the limibic brain's warning system, and those warnings can take quite a while to reach the higher cognitive parts of the brain.

When I didn't honor a vibe, I got raped, or I got manipulated, or I got physically hurt. I made space for that person being safe and having benign intentions, or not having ill intentions specifically toward me, rather than either getting immediate distance between us or girding up for some kind of physical or mental assault.

From an outside perspective, I once saw two women coming out of a bar with two men. One of the women was drunk and stumbling, and the way the man was holding her up, the way his hands were placed near her breasts, and other very subtle things in his body language -- I processed it very quickly and knew this woman was going to get raped. The men went to their vehicle while the women waited for them near the building and I started a conversation. The more sober woman gushed, "We don't have money to get home, so they're giving us a ride, and tomorrow they're going to take us on their boat." I said, "Your friend is about to get raped. And I doubt there's going to be a boat ride. Don't go with those guys." I offered cab fare. Well, she went and told the guys what I said, and while I was sitting on the curb, the rapey one came up, stood over me, and got very sneering."Oh, so you're this and that, you're so blah blah blah, what do you know, you think you're blah blah blah." I stayed right where I was, stayed calm, shook just a tiny little bit, kept my voice low in my chest, and was assertive. He sneered a little more and walked away. The more sober friend said, "He wouldn't have acted like that if he were a good guy." I called a cab for the women, gave the cab driver the money, the women thanked me, and they went home.

Not trying to chastise you with this comment, but offering evidence that vibes are your friends, not oversensitive and irrational enemies against your best interests. A manipulative person who means you ill is going to tell you that you're over emotional and oversensitive, because you put up a boundary to what they want that they don't have persmission to get access to. That type of person will not accept an offer of sex, but will turn around and rape -- been through it. That type of person will not accept an offer of your email, but will later tell someone else they're worried about you and ask for it, and then send an email that says, "I don't know if this is still a good email address for you" -- been throught it, with a family member. If someone doesn't respect your boundaries, they don't respect you. If they don't like your boundaries, they don't like you. If they talk shit about you for having boundaries, they think you're beneath them and that whatever they want from you or want to do to you, they are entitled to. Fuck that.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I really understand this. I've been through it so many times.

Every time I've gotten a vibe and questioned rather than honoring it, I've regretted it. It's not an emotion, it's the limibic brain's warning system, and those warnings can take quite a while to reach the higher cognitive parts of the brain.

When I didn't honor a vibe, I got raped, or I got manipulated, or I got physically hurt. I made space for that person being safe and having benign intentions, or not having ill intentions specifically toward me, rather than either getting immediate distance between us or girding up for some kind of physical or mental assault.

From an outside perspective, I once saw two women coming out of a bar with two men. One of the women was drunk and stumbling, and the way the man was holding her up, the way his hands were placed near her breasts, and other very subtle things in his body language -- I processed it very quickly and knew this woman was going to get raped. The men went to their vehicle while the women waited for them near the building and I started a conversation. The more sober woman gushed, "We don't have money to get home, so they're giving us a ride, and tomorrow they're going to take us on their boat." I said, "Your friend is about to get raped. And I doubt there's going to be a boat ride. Don't go with those guys." I offered cab fare. Well, she went and told the guys what I said, and while I was sitting on the curb, the rapey one came up, stood over me, and got very sneering."Oh, so you're this and that, you're so blah blah blah, what do you know, you think you're blah blah blah." I stayed right where I was, stayed calm, shook just a tiny little bit, kept my voice low in my chest, and was assertive. He sneered a little more and walked away. The sober friend said, "He wouldn't have acted like that if he were a good guy." I called a cab for the women, gave the cab driver the money, the women thanked me, and they went home.

Not trying to chastise you with this comment, but offering evidence that vibes are your friends, not oversensitive and irrational enemies against your best interests. A manipulative person who means you ill is going to tell you that you're over emotional and oversensitive, because you put up a boundary to what they want that they don't have persmission to get access to. That type of person will not accept an offer of sex, but will turn around and rape -- been through it. That type of person will not accept an offer of your email, but will later tell someone else they're worried about you and ask for it, and then send an email that says, "I don't know if this is still a good email address for you" -- been throught it, with a family member. If someone doesn't respect your boundaries, they don't respect you. If they don't like your boundaries, they don't like you. If they talk shit about you for having boundaries, they think you're beneath them and that whatever they want from you or want to do to you, they are entitled to. Fuck that.

I'm sorry you went through that yourself, but thank you for being the person that prevented someone else's life being destroyed.