24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected as a Child

[TotallyIsolated]

I wanted to share this article, as it really resonated with me...

24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected as a Child

"I think it's normal to be treated like I don't matter at all."

themighty.com

The one that hit me hardest was realizing that I just don't have any memories of my mother from when I was very young.

I've only just started to come to terms with the fact that my mother didn't love me when I was a child. I have been taking meds and in therapy for a long time, like 10+ years, and I have had this sense that there was just something wrong with me but I just couldn't put my finger on what it was until very recently.

I don't blame my mother and I still love her. She was depressed when I was young and she did the best she could. She probably had depression handed down to her in the same way, and the same for her mother, and so on...

Still though, when a child's mother lets them down they don't blame her, they blame themselves. I have blamed myself for EVERYTHING for nearly 40 years. For the first time in my life I feel like there might be light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[ReallyTired]

I wanted to share this article, as it really resonated with me...

24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected as a Child

"I think it's normal to be treated like I don't matter at all."

themighty.com

The one that hit me hardest was realizing that I just don't have any memories of my mother from when I was very young.

I've only just started to come to terms with the fact that my mother didn't love me when I was a child. I have been taking meds and in therapy for a long time, like 10+ years, and I have had this sense that there was just something wrong with me but I just couldn't put my finger on what it was until very recently.

I don't blame my mother and I still love her. She was depressed when I was young and she did the best she could. She probably had depression handed down to her in the same way, and the same for her mother, and so on...

Still though, when a child's mother lets them down they don't blame her, they blame themselves. I have blamed myself for EVERYTHING for nearly 40 years. For the first time in my life I feel like there might be light at the end of the tunnel.

Good article. I think the emotional neglect during my childhood definitely affects me. I find it extremely difficult to reach out when I'm really struggling with depression or even to form any meaningful relationships. But I was also bullied horribly in the school as a child for many years which didn't help. Did you find therapy helpful?

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Good article. I think the emotional neglect during my childhood definitely affects me. I find it extremely difficult to reach out when I'm really struggling with depression or even to form any meaningful relationships. But I was also bullied horribly in the school as a child for many years which didn't help. Did you find therapy helpful?

That sounds just like me.

Yes, definitely. It has taken a long time to really trust my therapist, but he has helped me to get access to stuff that's been locked away inside me that I was too afraid and ashamed to confront.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Two of these really stood out to me:

"Fearing that my wants and needs are absurd and worthy of ridicule. Instead of speaking up for myself in any sort of relationship, I have a tendency to keep it all inside for fear of being shamed, laughed at and made fun of by others."

"Needing to have my feelings/fears/thoughts/actions validated by anyone and everyone. Or have small, simple victories celebrated."

My feelings don't mean much, even as an adult. Invalidation, ridicule, punishment instead of emotional support. Being called ugly for being upset, but not being shown how to handle my emotions. I could go on and on, but damn. My parents provided for me in terms of food and housing, they encourage me to be "productive and successful", but emotional support? Ha. Hahaha. Next to nothing.

I've never felt truly loved and cared for by my parents. Anything they do for me just feels like an obligation, or it's literally conditional. Sigh. Rambling though. Thanks for sharing this article. Hugs.

 

[Ihadagoodlife]

Guess i wasn't emotionally neglected

 

[TriggerHappy]

I found reading through it mentally /emotionally exhausting & frightening :: alcoholic dad, enabling mom, overachiever rebellious sister, queer son guess they did the best they could :: tough love recovery hardened me into piece of rock - i cannot ever blame them for my choices, but therapys shown me that the people i'm attracted to are potentially parental archetypes (unfulfilled lessons yet to be learned...)
A different era :: boys are tough & we don't cry (so, so lonely) :: apart from dissapointment & disapproval, I wish we communicated more clearly /truthfully :: I've chosen isolation / eventual suicide over causing repetitive damage to others (i'm not naive to my character defects..)
It's really just too overwhelming; stop the ride i wanna get off...!

 

[ReallyTired]

I found reading through it mentally /emotionally exhausting & frightening :: alcoholic dad, enabling mom, overachiever rebellious sister, queer son guess they did the best they could :: tough love recovery hardened me into piece of rock - i cannot ever blame them for my choices, but therapys shown me that the people i'm attracted to are potentially parental archetypes (unfulfilled lessons yet to be learned...)
A different era :: boys are tough & we don't cry (so, so lonely) :: apart from dissapointment & disapproval, I wish we communicated more clearly /truthfully :: I've chosen isolation / eventual suicide over causing repetitive damage to others (i'm not naive to my character defects..)
It's really just too overwhelming; stop the ride i wanna get off...!

I can relate. Very similar background. Only difference, my mom drinking as well, and my older sister became a nasty bully.
But I don't blame my parents. They're the same victims as I'm . They suffered childhood abuse and neglect from their parents. The cycle of abuse and neglect goes on and on. Because of this I never trusted myself to have children. I'm also very aware of my character defects. Actually, I hate myself most of the time. I wish I could turn back time and stop myself from being born. This depression is so painful and so lonely and isolating. I'm so exhausted, trying to survive each day. I wish society would allow euthanasia for people like me. Death with dignity.

 

[TriggerHappy]

I can relate. Very similar background. Only difference, my mom drinking as well, and my older sister became a nasty bully.
But I don't blame my parents. They're the same victims as I'm . They suffered childhood abuse and neglect from their parents. The cycle of abuse and neglect goes on and on. Because of this I never trusted myself to have children. I'm also very aware of my character defects. Actually, I hate myself most of the time. I wish I could turn back time and stop myself from being born. This depression is so painful and so lonely and isolating. I'm so exhausted, trying to survive each day. I wish society would allow euthanasia for people like me. Death with dignity.

yeah, we are maybe really living the same life!?
(Wander if were astrological twins? Pm me yr birthrate? Im a march Aries fyi) :: my sister is a mean bully :: on hardcore lexamil for 'anger episodes' (my deep n dark n murky gene pool, swim at your own risk!)
she went so far as to test my legal competency; trying to get my inheritance (at the time she did such a self-esteem annihilation number on me, I trusted her :: &lost my inheritance - she used it to pay off her credit card debt.... aargh!) insanity.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I don't know if these are 24 signs you have been neglected, or whether its 24 peoples experiences which resulted in being neglected, either way its hard reading. I know I was emotionally, mentally, etc neglected, my mother couldn't give two shits about me , I resonate with many of these and could potentially add my own

 

[ReallyTired]

yeah, we are maybe really living the same life!?
(Wander if were astrological twins? Pm me yr birthrate? Im a march Aries fyi) :: my sister is a mean bully :: on hardcore lexamil for 'anger episodes' (my deep n dark n murky gene pool, swim at your own risk!)
she went so far as to test my legal competency; trying to get my inheritance (at the time she did such a self-esteem annihilation number on me, I trusted her :: &lost my inheritance - she used it to pay off her credit card debt.... aargh!) insanity.

Wow, I'm an april aries, and your sister really sounds like mine. It's weird.
I realized recently that I've been really uncomfortable being in her company to the point of being scared of her my whole life. My mother and my younger sister are the same. They would never admit it but when my sister's coming for a visit I can see them becoming nervous, uncomfortable and on the edge. She's overachiever, big boss in a financial institution. She can be really driven and really aggressive. It's usually her way or the highway...While growing up she used to take out her aggression on me, now she's mostly picking on her older son. But that's all behind closed doors. On the outside they play perfect, happy family- very rich, overachievers...
She's one of the main reasons why I moved to UK, to live far, far away from her.