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- Feb 21, 2020
- 30
The reason for that is the coronavirus that is preventing my plans from happening.
I had a dream since I was little. It was to move to a different country. I'm a social reject, I have no social skills and I'm also ugly so that's why I never had any friends. I live in a country I really hate. I travelled to Canada (the country I want to emigrate to) and it was better there. The people were nicer, I had a relationship too. It felt like I wasn't a complete subhuman over there. I was planning to actually move there this year through college but that's unlikely to happen. It truly feels like my life has been cursed. This coronavirus just happened to occur when I wanted to study in Canada. How convenient. It may sound selfish of me to say all of this but I truly believe there is a stronger power that wants to prevent me from succeeding/being happy.
i strongly believe this coronavirus is here to stay. Maybe around 2 years or so. Which is exactly the length of my college duration.
im extremely depressed about it. I currently work in a supermarket so I'm not in quarantine by myself. I work everyday but I hate it there. I hate the people, the place, the job. I was okay with it because I thought it was going to last until I go to college, but since that's not going to happen, I'm going to stay here way longer. My life is just my work, I go home playing video games I don't even like just to pass time, and sleep. I have no friends whatsoever and I don't talk to my coworkers because Its obvious to everyone I'm a weirdo that can't perform social skills. I was planning to be just a "robot": "eat, work, sleep", everyday and feeling emotionless and numb for a few months but now it can't happen. I just want to die already. So many things have gotten worse.Leaving my country was the only hope for me to not kill myself. This is all a sign I should kill myself.
I had a dream since I was little. It was to move to a different country. I'm a social reject, I have no social skills and I'm also ugly so that's why I never had any friends. I live in a country I really hate. I travelled to Canada (the country I want to emigrate to) and it was better there. The people were nicer, I had a relationship too. It felt like I wasn't a complete subhuman over there. I was planning to actually move there this year through college but that's unlikely to happen. It truly feels like my life has been cursed. This coronavirus just happened to occur when I wanted to study in Canada. How convenient. It may sound selfish of me to say all of this but I truly believe there is a stronger power that wants to prevent me from succeeding/being happy.
i strongly believe this coronavirus is here to stay. Maybe around 2 years or so. Which is exactly the length of my college duration.
im extremely depressed about it. I currently work in a supermarket so I'm not in quarantine by myself. I work everyday but I hate it there. I hate the people, the place, the job. I was okay with it because I thought it was going to last until I go to college, but since that's not going to happen, I'm going to stay here way longer. My life is just my work, I go home playing video games I don't even like just to pass time, and sleep. I have no friends whatsoever and I don't talk to my coworkers because Its obvious to everyone I'm a weirdo that can't perform social skills. I was planning to be just a "robot": "eat, work, sleep", everyday and feeling emotionless and numb for a few months but now it can't happen. I just want to die already. So many things have gotten worse.Leaving my country was the only hope for me to not kill myself. This is all a sign I should kill myself.
