Help 2 suicides at my university. How to help?

[j0n4th4n]

Not sure how to start this. Long time lurker here. I attend the University of Houston.

February 15th and March 20th. 2 students, suicide at the same building, Agnes A. Hall. Pretty tall, the roof easily accessible. A 2017 suicide happened there as well. I guess we have a tradition now.

Won't link anything here about the identities of the students, but it's all over Houston-based news websites, feel free to search. I didn't personally know them, but the response from the university has been crass, and I'm upset. If they were unknown in life, they can't remain unknown in death.

The problem, as I said, is the response from the university. They copied and pasted the same "our condolances, here are resources" email for both suicides. They wanted the first suicide one to go away like nothing happened and found themselves with a second, they simply hoped everyone would move on and forget. They encouraged us to use CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) at the university, but this program is underfunded, takes weeks to get an appointment, and you walk away knowing you wasted your time with it, they are by no means professionals in any sense. They do not care, in any sense. Three suicides, never mind at the same building, in 5 years doesn't help them get the hint, it seems.

The media, families, students, everyone is angry. With two back-to-back student lives lost at their campus, they're listening to us now. My question is, what can the university do to prevent a third suicide before the semester ends? This is a commuter school, sentiment here is that you come here to get your degree and you leave with zero new friends. This is a problem since it is very easy for people to feel alone here. Aside from taking away the millions in cash they're burning for the stupid football program and diverting it to CAPS funding, what can students, faculty, and the administration do?

I'm not usually one to be hit hard by stuff like this, I am awfully stoic but I saw the picture of the boy who died this week and my heart broke. I would've loved to speak with him and try to be there for him, and now he's gone. I know he found the peace he desired, I just wish it could have been here on Earth with his friends and family.

Any ideas and questions welcome. I am in touch with the local media and am friends with the writers of our school newspaper. I don't want another student to do this, I've been there and am recovering but this is going to take a bigger effort than what the univeristy is putting in.

 

[theboy]

it is paradoxical that you ask how to prevent CTB on a site that discusses methods of how to do CTB

 

[j0n4th4n]

it is paradoxical that you ask how to prevent CTB on a site that discusses methods of how to do CTB

I am posting this on the recovery threads, as opposed to the suicide discussion threads. I am hoping recovering individuals could chime in with suggestions.

 

[tuyu]

Maybe more peer support avenues… are there such initiatives in your university? I think mine had some anonymous venting / confession site which was pretty popular. Definitely have places / events where students can easily mingle and befriend others. Maybe even a buddy system with a freshman and senior?

But my school still had quite a fair bit of suicide cases though. Welp. Part of living in a stressful city I guess

 

[Zetsubou]

My school has a similar issue. We've had some suicides in the last few years, all from the same building. The university also sent out a standard email about resources and haven't really done much except claim that they will erect a fence at the top of the building (as if that's going to help). They also waste money on a football team that's not even good.

Unfortunately, I don't have a solution. This is a systemic problem that involves the severe underfunding of mental healthcare in general. I think the best thing to do is keep the discussion going.

 

[j0n4th4n]

Maybe more peer support avenues… are there such initiatives in your university? I think mine had some anonymous venting / confession site which was pretty popular. Definitely have places / events where students can easily mingle and befriend others. Maybe even a buddy system with a freshman and senior?

But my school still had quite a fair bit of suicide cases though. Welp. Part of living in a stressful city I guess

thank you for the reply! CAPS is the only sort of thing we have. this is a wonderful suggestion and I'm definitely bringing this to the table. is there any way you can elaborate on how this worked?

 

[Sulyya]

Maybe a group of students (with their own fancy acronym) can form and insist to meet with the CAPS head and whoever decides where funding goes, with a few bullet points. Hear their side and make your own.

 

[stoopid]

I don't understand the point. How about stay out of their fucking business? You don't have a clue what's going on in their head. Nobody jumps from a roof without a reason. This is not a Disney movie and you're not their hero, let them go if they decide that.

If you would do it like in the movies with a fucking seashell bracelet on your arm I'm gonna throw you first, how you DARE even think about something like that WHY are you that willing to keep people suffering ? Is that a fetish or hero complex ? You don't know a fucking thing why are you trying to be involved to increase their suffering ? You don't know a fucking thing how people suffer, if you would know you would stay the fuck out of their business! Try to manipulate people, give them false thoughts, to make them lie to themselves to feel bad, make them feel guilty about wanting to feel free of sadness and despair. How can anyone so sadistic

I'm happy thar I'm dead soon but Posts like that make puke blood and I don't need to read anything from these low-key Disney teen hero from wish any more

 

[j0n4th4n]

I don't understand the point. How about stay out of their fucking business? You don't have a clue what's going on in their head. Nobody jumps from a roof without a reason. This is not a Disney movie and you're not their hero, let them go if they decide that.

If you would do it like in the movies with a fucking seashell bracelet on your arm I'm gonna throw you first, how you DARE even think about something like that WHY are you that willing to keep people suffering ? Is that a fetish or hero complex ? You don't know a fucking thing why are you trying to be involved to increase their suffering ? You don't know a fucking thing how people suffer, if you would know you would stay the fuck out of their business! Try to manipulate people, give them false thoughts, to make them lie to themselves to feel bad, make them feel guilty about wanting to feel free of sadness and despair. How can anyone so sadistic

I'm happy thar I'm dead soon but Posts like that make puke blood and I don't need to read anything from these low-key Disney teen hero from wish any more

This is a senseless response. No one is trying to be a hero, I'm asking what a institution-oriented solutions can come from this. I don't know where this anger is coming from. Please, have a look at other replies in the thread. I would like to maintain civility. I don't know what Disney has to do with this.

 

[Octavia]

I don't understand the point. How about stay out of their fucking business? You don't have a clue what's going on in their head. Nobody jumps from a roof without a reason. This is not a Disney movie and you're not their hero, let them go if they decide that.

If you would do it like in the movies with a fucking seashell bracelet on your arm I'm gonna throw you first, how you DARE even think about something like that WHY are you that willing to keep people suffering ? Is that a fetish or hero complex ? You don't know a fucking thing why are you trying to be involved to increase their suffering ? You don't know a fucking thing how people suffer, if you would know you would stay the fuck out of their business! Try to manipulate people, give them false thoughts, to make them lie to themselves to feel bad, make them feel guilty about wanting to feel free of sadness and despair. How can anyone so sadistic

I'm happy thar I'm dead soon but Posts like that make puke blood and I don't need to read anything from these low-key Disney teen hero from wish any more

… We are in the recovery section? I think that this post is relevant, there is no need to get yourself all worked up.

 

[AnonymousS]

I don't understand the point. How about stay out of their fucking business? You don't have a clue what's going on in their head. Nobody jumps from a roof without a reason. This is not a Disney movie and you're not their hero, let them go if they decide that.

If you would do it like in the movies with a fucking seashell bracelet on your arm I'm gonna throw you first, how you DARE even think about something like that WHY are you that willing to keep people suffering ? Is that a fetish or hero complex ? You don't know a fucking thing why are you trying to be involved to increase their suffering ? You don't know a fucking thing how people suffer, if you would know you would stay the fuck out of their business! Try to manipulate people, give them false thoughts, to make them lie to themselves to feel bad, make them feel guilty about wanting to feel free of sadness and despair. How can anyone so sadistic

I'm happy thar I'm dead soon but Posts like that make puke blood and I don't need to read anything from these low-key Disney teen hero from wish any more

How about grow up and learn some fucking manners!

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

you don't know about this kind of suffering or your request would leave traces of that knowledge. It's nothing against you that you don't know, but you've entered a realm where people DO KNOW because they suffer with this every day. You chose to come here, independently of being in 'Recovery' thread, because you know this is where people have answers. Your naivety has made you incredibly insensitive in your response to someone who is giving you some of those answers, if you will only listen. Hear what is being said. Start with doing only that and inviting others to do so as well.

And you're right, you don't know where the anger is coming from. I would start with understanding where and why it does. THAT is step number 1 to the systemic change you seek. It starts with you.

While I agree with the overall point of people needing to listen as a starting point, this "you don't understand our suffering, you naive normie" is a load of bollocks. OP talked about a situation they're familiar with, said they feel the need to do something about it and asked for suggestions because they know their university won't go beyond offering "thoughts and prayers".

This teenager horseshit of "let us suffer alone" is, well... incredibly stupid, because it assumes that everyone feels the same way about their problems. That suicidal people all want to die for the same reasons, and the only reasonable thing that one could do is stay out of their way. Believe it or not, some suicidal people wouldn't actually be suicidal if they had some sort of support structure, someone who gave a fuck about them and what's going on in their lives. OP asking for suggestions about what they could do or what message to pass on to others is miles better than the preachy bollocks of "change starts with you".

 

[AnonymousS]

While I agree with the overall point of people needing to listen as a starting point, this "you don't understand our suffering, you naive normie" is a load of bollocks. OP talked about a situation they're familiar with, said they feel the need to do something about it and asked for suggestions because they know their university won't go beyond offering "thoughts and prayers".

This teenager horseshit of "let us suffer alone" is, well... incredibly stupid, because it assumes that everyone feels the same way about their problems. That suicidal people all want to die for the same reasons, and the only reasonable thing that one could do is stay out of their way. Believe it or not, some suicidal people wouldn't actually be suicidal if they had some sort of support structure, someone who gave a fuck about them and what's going on in their lives. OP asking for suggestions about what they could do or what message to pass on to others is miles better than the preachy bollocks of "change starts with you".

Very well said, and it shows the naive and balck or white thinking of typically the younger people on this site. It's all or nothing to them, i don't think they even think before they type. It would be good to just show some basic empathy regardless of what you feel on these issues, without stupid meaningless words like "normie" being thrown around. It just reveals a lack of life experience.

 

[Lullaby]

@j0n4th4n You can try starting up a NAMI club on campus. They're a mental health organization, and I think they've got a chapter in most states.


If you contact them, they can probably help start something up. I have one in my city and used to attend group sessions every week just to talk to other people who were struggling too.

NAMI On Campus | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

NAMI on Campus clubs provide students with peer-run mental health organizations on campus. Learn how to get involved.

www.nami.org

 

[j0n4th4n]

@j0n4th4n You can try starting up a NAMI club on campus. They're a mental health organization, and I think they've got a chapter in most states.


If you contact them, they can probably help start something up. I have one in my city and used to attend group sessions every week just to talk to other people who were struggling too.

NAMI On Campus | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

NAMI on Campus clubs provide students with peer-run mental health organizations on campus. Learn how to get involved.

www.nami.org

I will look into this, many thanks!

you don't know about this kind of suffering or your request would leave traces of that knowledge

I have attempted suicide once in my life, my very short post history shows that. I also said:

I've been there and am recovering

The user you mentioned is not the intended audiance for this thread. This is why I posted in the recovery threads, I hope you understand that.

Furthermore, I am looking for suggestions on what the university, SPECIFICALLY the university, will all their money and power, can set up or provide for students.

 

[Octavia]

I'm trying to get at the nerve of what I'm responding to here, and I think it's that people need a place for their rage to be heard. I think that a vital aspect of support, maybe the most important, is creating spaces where rage, sorrow, boredom, despair, confusion etc. can be expressed fully without being told to 'settle down we're trying to help you'. If people could be heard beyond others getting their backs up and feathers ruffled with judgment at messy humanity, I think that would be revolutionary and we might get to laughter faster.

That is precisely what the suicide discussion section is for. stoopid seemed to be quite explosive in their comment, which is uncalled for as a post asking about ways to help people recover fits perfectly in the recovery section. Which is the section that we are currently in, if you have not noticed.