dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
Despite the bad, ugly things, I do have to remember 1 year, 10 months ago, I was going to drink my N. Dbol, a member here stopped me, he asked dozens of questions, and suggested a hormone checkup. Gosh, I had testosterone of a 110 year-old man. A week after I was fine, thanks to TRT. Thats 1ml Cypionate 300mg per week, and few more things from time to time.
Weed is likeable, but makes me do nothing, so I stopped.
Exercise became a daily thing, except last few months because of insomnia, but I have 2 days already sleeping fine, so I went out for a 4k run and some push-ups, get things started.
I did let go a beautiful girl because she deserved someone with less issues than me, that was back at the beginning of recover, regret is still present.
I am okay at my job, software tester, but want to do more, but it requires huge effort which im not investing.
I've made some poor choices, some other good.
Just found, Hoponoppono or someshit like that, a small couple phrase with emotion mantra, that lifts me up quite good, I've found adding couple sentences does magic in my particular case. I've heard about it years ago, but called it shit.
I have some pendings things to do, but I lack the decision between different goals, and I can not tackle them all successfully, I need to choose!
My mom and brother are so happy I've stopped attempting against myself, and that im living by my own means, however small them can be for someone, or for me, at least I am.
Can I get any better? Do something better?
I love one book, Winning the Inner Game, by Michael Hall
Next plans, yes I would like to find a life partner, someone I can count on and some one to care for together.
I would like to be better at my job, or found and extra source of income.
I would like to feel liberated and fine! Liberated of what? I dunno! Lol, I'm free, except some demons, regrets, and memories hunt me back, Hoponoppono has helped a lot just yesterday and today.
I have to choose what to do NEXT with my life!
If you read until here, thank you so much!!! Love you, and my best wishes for us both!
Weed is likeable, but makes me do nothing, so I stopped.
Exercise became a daily thing, except last few months because of insomnia, but I have 2 days already sleeping fine, so I went out for a 4k run and some push-ups, get things started.
I did let go a beautiful girl because she deserved someone with less issues than me, that was back at the beginning of recover, regret is still present.
I am okay at my job, software tester, but want to do more, but it requires huge effort which im not investing.
I've made some poor choices, some other good.
Just found, Hoponoppono or someshit like that, a small couple phrase with emotion mantra, that lifts me up quite good, I've found adding couple sentences does magic in my particular case. I've heard about it years ago, but called it shit.
I have some pendings things to do, but I lack the decision between different goals, and I can not tackle them all successfully, I need to choose!
My mom and brother are so happy I've stopped attempting against myself, and that im living by my own means, however small them can be for someone, or for me, at least I am.
Can I get any better? Do something better?
I love one book, Winning the Inner Game, by Michael Hall
Next plans, yes I would like to find a life partner, someone I can count on and some one to care for together.
I would like to be better at my job, or found and extra source of income.
I would like to feel liberated and fine! Liberated of what? I dunno! Lol, I'm free, except some demons, regrets, and memories hunt me back, Hoponoppono has helped a lot just yesterday and today.
I have to choose what to do NEXT with my life!
If you read until here, thank you so much!!! Love you, and my best wishes for us both!
