BitterlyAlive
---
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,635
I somehow randomly fell asleep and managed to sleep for a few hours. But now I'm wide awake, and my brain and body are fucking with me
Someone was telling me yesterday about how they were almost killed twice and had a gun put to their head as they were raped. They went through more severe childhood abuse than I did. I was raped multiple times by my ex, but I always wonder if it was really rape because he never put a gun to my head, he never beat me... Am I just a fucking liar, is it my fault because I let him do these things?
Why am I so pathetic? Why can't I be good enough? Why am I such a weak piece of shit?
I'm not gonna be able to fall back asleep. Fucking SH and suicidal urges, it's like painful static in my brain and arms. But at the same time I deserve this. I should feel like complete crap. I should feel ashamed, guilty, stupid, lazy, weak. Where's the fucking lie?
Someone was telling me yesterday about how they were almost killed twice and had a gun put to their head as they were raped. They went through more severe childhood abuse than I did. I was raped multiple times by my ex, but I always wonder if it was really rape because he never put a gun to my head, he never beat me... Am I just a fucking liar, is it my fault because I let him do these things?
Why am I so pathetic? Why can't I be good enough? Why am I such a weak piece of shit?
I'm not gonna be able to fall back asleep. Fucking SH and suicidal urges, it's like painful static in my brain and arms. But at the same time I deserve this. I should feel like complete crap. I should feel ashamed, guilty, stupid, lazy, weak. Where's the fucking lie?